fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2256 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2256 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Most Popular Girls In School]

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[Rust and Bone]

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[My Mad Fat Diary]

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[Sailor Moon]

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[Harvest Moon: A New Beginning]

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[American Horror Story Asylum]

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[Homestuck]

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[DC Comics]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #322.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm writing a story in English, but the setting is a place where English isn't spoken. How would you advise interjecting bits of the the other language, f!s? I want to add it in, to better explain details about the culture/history/etc, but the characters aren't, in the story, actually speaking English, so I'm wondering how to pull it off without it looking redundant/stupid. Maybe if I keep the dialogue in English and add the other language in the body of the text (only as exposition)? Maybe it'd read better in first person, so it could be passed off as the narrator sort of explaining things to an unaware reader?

I'd think that would work, yes. Put it in the narrative with an explanation (if necessary; sometimes context will do the work for you) and thereafter you can safely use it in dialogue if you need to. Just be careful it doesn't come off as too much of... dictionary-ish thing, you know? It needs to fit the flow of the text without becoming an info-dump.

You could always try reading books that have been translated from another language. This sort of thing often crops up in translated books, when there's a particular concept that doesn't have an equivalent word in English - you wind up having to add a line to explain it.

Just a caution, though, against getting too carried away with invented words. This crops up a lot in SF and fantasy books, and one of the problems is when too many new words get dropped on the reader all at the same time. It gets confusing. And sometimes they don't even appear particularly necessary - as in, when the word is a replacement for another word that already exists in English. Basically, if the word means a particular concept that doesn't already exist in English, you can safely use it. (This applies even to, say, things like clothes. You can give a scarf an invented term if there's a reason for it not to be called a scarf - religious/cultural/whatever reasons, anything goes!)

TL;DR: Yeah, put it in the narrative text. Also, space them out, and make sure the word is necessary, and you should be good to go.

OP:

Thanks! You've put into words what I was thinking, but couldn't communicate (out of tiredness). I'll definitely at least try it and try to do it in moderation.

A lot of it depends on how the story's being related. Is it the protagonist reflecting on the events or is it happening "currently"? Is it limited third or omniscient?

If nobody around knows a single word of English, if I were you I'd keep referenced to the other language to the opening, as in:

The two guys walked towards the building.

"Blah blah blah," said the first in French.

"I agree," said the other in the same language. The narrative will now proceed to assume that the guys are doing whatever the first guy said while it tells the reader all about France (or whatever else it needs to).

OP:

I'm thinking either first person or limited third.

That's usually how I do it - with just mentioning it's not English somewhere in the beginning. Thanks!

Hm, the way I've seen it done successfully is to have the foreign words or phrases be an important and reoccurring part of the narrative. They can be introduced by the character in dialogue or in the body, it doesn't really matter, I don't think. The meaning of the word or phrase should follow either immediately after or be in the following sentence, or be implied by the text, so the foreign word will add to the text. Otherwise the words and phrases might make the reader feel frustrated instead.

Sorry, I'm tired and I'm not sure if I'm explaining it well. Here are some examples off the top of my head. Hope this helps.

"Don't forget your sugegasa!" my mother yelled out after me.
"Oh! Thank you the reminder!" I said as I put it on and tied the straps in a butterfly pattern under my chin. It was a hot day and my sugegasa would be needed to keep the sun from baking me dry. If it rained, the cone shape of the sugegasa would keep the rain off of my head, too.

My little brother Pierre loved reading. We didn't have any money for books but it didn't stop Pierre from reading whatever he could find, even if he didn't understand it. He had a word of the day that he would proudly spell out for everyone in the family. This was why we called him le petit pwofeser, the little professor.

Eta: If the narrative mentioned a character speaking in a specific language, I would think the character was making a point in speaking a language different from what everyone else was speaking, or that the character knew more than one language. I'd associate a specific setting with a default language rather than a language with a specific setting, if that makes any sense? Like, if my story took place in Germany for example, I'd mention it in the setting so it would imply that my characters would be speaking German unless stated otherwise. People can be speaking German in France or Switzerland or Canada because they're German, but it is less likely for everyone in a story set in Germany to be speaking the same non-German language.

Edited 2013-03-08 04:47 (UTC)

OP

Don't worry, I was tired too, but I got what you meant and that's how I'll experiment with it, thanks!

[ SECRET POST #2256 ]

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