case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-03-08 07:13 pm

[ SECRET POST #2257 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2257 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.



#8 and 9 are moving gifs.



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09.
[Jessica Alba]


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11. http://i56.tinypic.com/2ih02df.jpg
[porn... sort of. illustrated]


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12.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]













13. [SPOILERS for A Song of Ice and Fire]



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14. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]



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15. [SPOILERS for Brave, Wreck-It Ralph]



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16. [SPOILERS for Persona 3]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














17. [WARNING for suicide, self harm]

[My Mad Fat Diary]


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18. [WARNING for rape]

[Far Cry 3]


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19. [WARNING for self harm and sexual abuse]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #322.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
ironically this secret probably could stand to have a trigger warning

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Agreeing so hard on dub-con threesomes (in the loose definition of permitted-adultery.) I recently read such a fic in the fandom of my heart. Medieval setting, and the new young queen seemed totally OK that her husband (whom she had thought loved her) and one of her few friends from her own country wanted their night of passion.

Did she have a choice in the matter? I don't think so; she was practically alone in her husband's country and her own family didn't give a damn about her. This was portrayed from the POV of one of the men, and was also portrayed as OMG so romantic.

I was shaking for three days and feeling sick for four.

tl;dr - OP, I agree with you.

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
I don't really get how the dubcon factors into this, based on your description.

Maybe the actual fic was written a lot more skeevily than your description, but I don't think simply being alone and without a supportive family automatically negates a person's ability to consent.

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
da

This. From their description, the fic just sounds kind of...well, hot and not really dub-conny. Maybe the fic makes them so uncomfortable that they didn't want to go into detail?

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
SA It's the huge power imbalance that creeped me out, based on gender, political power or lack thereof, and - I forgot to add - age. Both men were much older than the woman. She had no choice at all in the matter, and (I also forgot to add) one of her predecessors had been completely humiliated by her own husband and his lover, so she had a bad precedent to refer to. Yes, it made me very uncomfortable.

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
1. I dont really know what dub-con is

2. I always see people talking about triggers, but I dont understand. What does a trigger do?

3. I am not a troll. I really dont know.

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
1. Dubcon: a term purely for fic (because in real life anything without clear verbal consent is called "rape" or "sexual assault" depending on the legal system), it refers to anything that is neither clearly or enthusiastically consented to, but also isn't perceived to be clearly "rape". May include issues of huge power imbalance, issues where one or both characters are under pressures or compulsions, etc, etc. Very fuzzy definition space.


2. A trigger is a short-hand way of talking about something that "triggers" - that is, sets off or initiates - a serious anxiety response in someone experiencing it. "Anxiety response" here is a clinical sort of thing; we're talking panic attacks, flash-backs, sometimes audio or visual hallucinations or delusions, etc. Happens most often to people with an anxiety disorder (Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anorexia Nervosa, I'm sure I'm forgetting a few) or other traumatic experiences or brain-miswirings.

Will in practice often get mixed up with "things that make me unhappy/piss me off/make me uncomfortable", but is actually significantly different in both quantity and quality.

(For instance, your friendly anon here is made very unhappy by posts about children being harmed. I am TRIGGERED by being exposed to stuff about adolescent peer-violence. The former makes me grumpy and upset and sad. The latter makes me panicky and feel like I can't breathe and if I'm unlucky makes me dissociate really hard and/or throw up, and can stick with me and give me hardcore suicidal imagery for a week. That doesn't describe EVERYONE's response to a real trigger - human diversity is legendary - but I just want to give you an idea of the quantitative/qualitative difference)


3. Now hopefully you know more!

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not the anon from above, but you've helped me understand triggers a lot more. I had an experience that I thought qualified as a trigger, but I felt I couldn't call it that because no one would actually spell out an example of a trigger; we were all just supposed to know one when we saw one. From what you've described, I think I experienced a relatively minor trigger (shakiness and stomach pains when I first watched the Reaping scene in The Hunger Games movie; it took me two months to figure out it dredged up feelings about three dog attacks where my dog was hurt and I still feel guilty about it).

Thank you so much for explaining this.

ayrt

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
Welcome! I'm generally pretty happy to spell things out if I can. Especially this kind of thing. :)
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2013-03-09 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
This is a great comment, kudos :)

ayrt

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. :)

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Original clueless anon here...


Thank you

(Anonymous) 2013-03-09 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I think this secret should have come with a trigger warning ....
I have never had a problem with any secret until I read this one!

Many years ago as a very late teen (I'm now in my 60's) I was in a similar situation, but I'm sorry to say I was the girlfriend when it happened with us. I realised that things weren't right even though the then boyfriend had tried to convince me they were and I put an end to it before anything did happen.

Even though thankfully nothing more happened than a very uncomfortable situation, I've just realised that I still feel very guilty about that day and for not stopping things before we all even got ourselves into that nasty position!