fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2257 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2257 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

#8 and 9 are moving gifs.

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[Jessica Alba]

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11. http://i56.tinypic.com/2ih02df.jpg
[porn... sort of. illustrated]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

13. [SPOILERS for A Song of Ice and Fire]

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14. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]

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15. [SPOILERS for Brave, Wreck-It Ralph]

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16. [SPOILERS for Persona 3]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

17. [WARNING for suicide, self harm]

[My Mad Fat Diary]

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18. [WARNING for rape]

[Far Cry 3]

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19. [WARNING for self harm and sexual abuse]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #322.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm starting to come to the conclusion that a romantic relationship is not something I want, and honestly, something I'm not sure I'll ever want. Anytime me dating someone comes up, I'll just say it's not something I'm interested in "right now", assuming I'd be interested in a couple years. But I've been saying "not right now" for several years, and at this point I can't imagine it's going to change, which scares me.

The few romantic relationships I've had (because I felt like I was "supposed to") I just wasn't happy in. They weren't bad or abusive or anything, just... not what I wanted. Lately I've realized that my platonic relationships make me a lot happier than any romantic ones have, and I just can't help but feel like there's something wrong with me because everyone wants romance (or at least that's how it seems to me). I feel like as long as I have some good friends and my family, I'm good, but I get this feeling that I'm supposed to want "more" somehow, so obviously I'm doing it wrong.

I don't want to be a freak. :(

considering that "aromantic" is a thing that people label themselves as, then at least you have company

OP

That's the weird part, I've heard of people being aromantic, and if I was that would at least make sense but I'm not. I actually consider myself bi because if I theoretically was to be in a relationship, I'd be fine with being with either a guy or a girl. Which I feel like is even weirder than just being aromantic. I don't know, it's confusing but I guess I won't worry about it for now.

You're the only one who can determine what your sexual orientation is, but I think you might benefit from looking up asexuality, which is the lack of attraction towards any gender.

Here's a helpful site on the subject: http://www.asexuality.org/home/

aromantic =/= asexual

you're definitely right but aven has "resources" (probably not the best word but w/e) for aroms too. they have resources for all sorts of orientations and such that don't fall squarely into the lgbt community and thus aren't covered very often by other places.

Seconding that aromantic is not the same as asexual. Comments like this are a big part of the reason so many people refuse to accept asexuality exists and we're accused of being special snowflakes pushing an agenda.

I'd recommend a similar site for someone if what they said they felt like they were experiencing romantic towards the same sex and felt conflicted about it, but I can see how this post seems pushy.

And I apologize about using asexual instead of aromantic.

da

Wait, so if someone had romantic feelings towards someone of the same sex and was confused about it you'd send them to an asexual site? That...doesn't really make a lot of sense? Or am I completely misunderstanding what you're trying to say?

Misunderstanding; I'd send them to a site with a focus on LBG. An asexual site would be beyond silly.

(I'm excluding trans* here because I feel that it covers a different area than LBG, not because I feel that their problems are any less important other minorities.)

You're not "doing it wrong". And you're not a freak. You're just not interested in having a romantic relationship. If it isn't something that makes you happy, then don't get involved in one. It's okay if you're never interested in having one.

+1. Nicely said.

I feel pretty much the same way. :D I just find real-life romance, dating, and romantic relationships to not be half as fulfilling as anything else I could be doing with my time. So...they bore me and I don't want one.

I will come join you in your freak-boat in an entirely platonic way, if you want. :)

It's not common, but you're not alone in feeling that way. Dating, romance, marriage, sex - all of that is optional. If none of it interests you and doesn't make you happy, then there's no reason to do it, and that's a-okay! And if, in the future, it does interest you, that's okay, too! Not saying it will or even needs to, just saying that people's interests sometimes change, and there's nothing wrong with going with the flow. Life's stressful enough without bringing in undesired relationships.

Yeah, society will generally tell you that you're a freak and whatnot, but I find that the people who care overmuch about other people's love lives are generally ones who are unhappy with their own. So if what you do makes you happy, then do it. You're probably better off than those busybodies. Haters gonna hate, and all that jazz.

OP

Your wording there - that those things are optional - just really got to me for some reason. I never thought of it that way because they've always been presented as necessities of life or something but you're right. I actually feel a lot better now so thank you. :)

this is an awesome comment and super full of wisdom

rock on, anon, rock on

I don't consider myself a freak for not wanting romance. :( Those who do are just the most vocal. The rest of us who don't want it do actually exist.

[ SECRET POST #2257 ]

Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?

Re: Am I just a complete weirdo or what?