fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2257 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2257 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

#8 and 9 are moving gifs.

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[Jessica Alba]

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11. http://i56.tinypic.com/2ih02df.jpg
[porn... sort of. illustrated]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

13. [SPOILERS for A Song of Ice and Fire]

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14. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]

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15. [SPOILERS for Brave, Wreck-It Ralph]

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16. [SPOILERS for Persona 3]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

17. [WARNING for suicide, self harm]

[My Mad Fat Diary]

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18. [WARNING for rape]

[Far Cry 3]

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19. [WARNING for self harm and sexual abuse]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #322.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I had a panic attack from bumper to bumper none moving traffic this morning and wound up going home, screwing over a friend that was waiting for me. I dropped my laptop when trying to take it into my bedroom so I could just sleep and stop shaking. I've forgotten again to buy cat litter for my cats. And when I just went out to the car to go buy some I wound up sitting in my car sobbing and couldn't even get the keys in the ignition. My place looks like I qualify for an ep of hoarders. I don't have a job. I cry over everything lately. I just -- I want to curl up and just sleep forever. For everything to just stop. And I'm so scared that if I tell anyone how broken I feel and everything I'll get put in a mental ward and I'd rather die then be in the mental ward.

No, I'm pretty sure you need to tell somebody. This is obviously impacting your life in significant ways.

Edit: I understand your concern but... you can't keep on the way you are right now. This is an unsustainable situation and it sounds like you are too deep to see how to get back up on your own.

Edited 2013-03-09 02:32 (UTC)

I'm not sure how to even start.

I'm not clear of your overall health insurance situation, so it's kinda hard for me to give you more details, but if you look for mental health in your area and add any relevant terms, I'm sure you can find something. Just know if the first person you go to is not the right person for you, not to despiar to the point you don't try again.

Most "mental wards" (although they really aren't called that when it's their soul purpose) are voluntary. The exceptions occur when you have actually committed a crime and are court ordered. So nobody's sending you to one unless that person is you. There is no button being pushed where men come into your therapy session and drag you away. I realize a paranoid thought isn't so easily quelled, but that is an actual fact.

and fuck I should have trigger warned this and put it where it could collapse. D:

You need help. It's okay to need help and it's okay to ask. Please reach out to somebody. And if you need to go to a mental ward it's okay because they exist to help you get better.

I can't even put to words my terror of mental wards. People get violently attacked on mental wards, you get strapped down, they put drug addicts in withdrawls on the same ward. I couldn't even afford it.

Okay. But you need therapy. You need somebody you can talk to. At least start by telling a friend or family member.

I don't know how it works, but surely there are therapists that would be willing to help you in simple sessions and not send you to a ward?

(reply from suspended user)

Honestly I don't believe you will get put in a mental ward, just seek out therapy. I can understand having fears about that but seeking help is a good way to avoid it because it's possible you'll get better and won't need any extreme treatment.

Just one step at a time, try your best.

*hugs*

I'm so sorry, that sounds awful.

Please consider talking to someone, anon - a counsellor if that's possible, a hotline, somebody. It's not your fault you're having panic attacks, and with all the stress going on in your life, no wonder you forget things or don't have much energy for cleaning. Seriously, those are not signs that you're a bad person. They're signs that you're a human being who is not being treated very kindly by life right now.

I'm not an expert in mental health care, especially since I don't know where you live, but I don't think they can put you in a mental ward against your will unless there's a serious risk you'll kill or seriously harm yourself or another person if they don't.

You deserve to feel much better than this, anon, you really do.

Hey. It's okay. Even if you feel like you can't do anything right, it's okay. Even if you feel broken, you deserve to feel happy. But it's also okay not to.

I hope you can find someone to talk to and I hope you can feel better. Talk to someone who's not necessarily a mental health professional maybe, or talk to a hot line. Say it out loud to someone, though.

[ SECRET POST #2257 ]

I can't do anything right

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^trigger warning

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