[ SECRET POST #2267 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2267 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 072 secrets from Secret Submission Post #324.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - trolls ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Second question first: I'd get my degree, intern, and theoretically pursue a career in that field. It's an abstract idea that I can't think too much about because depression tends to kick in and tell me I can't, I'm not good enough, I'll never get there. And therefore it's as much of a fantasy as "some day I'll travel the world!"

And as for your first question, I'm miserable now because all I can see is day after day of doing this same thing and having nothing to show for it.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, get help for your depression and talk to people, and find a way to make your life bearable.

Do you really think your depression is going to go away if you leave college and drop out and just lay in bed all day? It's not. The thing to do is to address the depression. I mean, lord knows I've been there, but dropping out is not the solution to this problem. The problem is depression, not college. You can do it, anon. Please, please, please talk to someone and find a way to live your life.

[(Anonymous)]

All the help that is available to me doesn't think the depression is a serious issue. The anxiety that was keeping me from accomplishing anything was treated, and people took me actually setting foot outside the house for a change as a win. The only response to depression has been "try harder" or "you just do it, that's how".

I'm not stupid. I know dropping out won't make depression go away. That's the problem, that it won't go away, and trying to pretend that I can keep up with "normal" people is killing me. I've dropped to the minimum credit hours I'm allowed and I'm still struggling, and no one gives a damn, so it can only be that I'm just not cut out for this.

[insanenoodlyguy]

if your on a campus, odds are good there is mental counseling. They tend to take depression seriously. You might want to look outside your social circle on this one.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been to the counseling center. There was a very helpful woman who got me through last term, before she got promoted to a different office. I miss her. The next person I saw was of the "try harder" variety.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Get a third option then? This doesn't seem like the thing we are going to be able to talk you through online, it seems like you are going to need more.

Is medication an option? You might want to consider it.

[(Anonymous)]

I am on medication, which helped the anxiety but not so much the depression. I was considering if I should try another, but I'm afraid of ending up back where I started or worse. I don't know.

[insanenoodlyguy]

It's obvious change is hard for you, but at the same time, consider where you are now. A place where it's obviously not working for you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[(Anonymous)]

You're right, I know. I need to get over the fear.

[insanenoodlyguy]

It's never that easy, but good luck. Just don't try to do it by yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

Just on the off chance you don't know this, you don't have to change meds--you can add new ones to what you're taking. Personally, I've been on as many as 4 anti-depressants, augmentors, and anti-anxiety meds at once.

Also, reduced courseloads are granted for medical reasons, and anxiety and depression are very common reasons. Don't think of your situation as you not being capable of going to college, think of it as working with your college to find ways for you to have access to higher education that are compatible with your medical needs.

[dethtoll]

It's obvious you need someone to talk to. I'm not a licensed therapist or anything but I'm told I'm a pretty good listener and I have friends who I've had to rescue from the deep end. Send me an IM (I have it listed in my profile) if you want to talk more personally rather than anonymously on F!S. I've got things going on tonight but you'll have my full attention after 10:30pm EST, but send me an IM any time.

I've been in more or less the same boat as you, anon. Trust me, it'll be okay.

[dethtoll]

Someone gives a damn -- we do. I do. Don't worry. You got people who care about you. I probably wouldn't have survived college if not for the wonderful assholes I know on the internet keeping me sane.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you.

[(Anonymous)]

da - That might be true, that you're not cut out for it. Not everybody is, and I really hate that society is putting so much pressure on everybody to have the college degree (and all the stress and debt that comes with it) to the point that you're looked down on for not having a degree. Going to college is not easy or even desirable for everybody.

The thing is, though, is that it's sort of a vicious cycle: because BAs are common enough to get, more and more employers are expecting prospective employees to have them. Getting even a basic job without one is pretty difficult, and anything better than that requires a master's. If you can get yourself in a position to survive comfortably without a college degree, then go for it, but if you can't, you may have to muddle through and get a BA just to have a BA.

[dethtoll]

Do not let your depression win. I've gone through crises of my own where I think I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, my career choice is a dead end, et cetera et cetera. It's a nightmare, and it's not helpful at all.

Do not do that to yourself. 8 years of college nearly killed me but I finally managed to pull it off somehow. (And now I kinda wanna go back, just to have something to do!) I doubt you'll be in for that long -- so persevere. Sometimes it'll drag on and on and on -- it certainly did for me, especially early on. But the thing about time is that it's linear, and eventually, as you trudge onward, you'll start seeing the end in sight.