fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2267 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2267 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That would be nice if it were true. I told some of my (former) friends that I was asexual and most of them said either that I should go to a doctor for sexual dysfunction treatments or that I hadn't met the right person yet. Once word got out, most people referred to me as "Mrs. Friendzone" if they were polite, and "the frigid bitch" if they weren't. I repeatedly saw my phone number written on bathroom stalls under the caption, "For a bad/sad/sexually frustrated/etc. time, call." Get-togethers were punctuated with people asking me if I would have sex with X actor/actress and growl in frustration when I said no. The person offering chocolate does not go, "Okay" and eat chocolate they no do not have to share. The person offering chocolate goes out to buy different types of chocolate at the store and gets offended after you refuse to eat it because you don't like chocolate and they know it, but they don't understand it. Sure, it was only a couple months in high school, but to this day I still get upset when I stumble across someone who looks like one of the bullies who used to tease me. How is that possibly not oppression?

You weren't oppressed. Your "friends" were just assholes.

NAYRT

Would you mind elaborating?

I think it's like your friends were rude to you and was bad of them, but they didn't infringe on any of your rights nor they have any power to do so, because being asexual doesn't actually leave any right you have vulnerable in order to be taken from you.

That's not to say you're not entitled to feel upset, though.

It sounds like more people than just anon's friends were involved, though. And oppression isn't just laws made to keep minority "in their place." Laws can be changed much, much more quickly than societal prejudices. If someone came out as gay or lesbian and had their personal contact information scribbled on bathroom stalls and may or may not have gotten unwanted calls as a result, that's absolutely an invasion of their rights. That's absolutely oppression. Just because it's not done to a minority that isn't as actively attacked doesn't make it mean any less. Asexuals are not as oppressed as a lot of other minority groups, that's a given. But to say there's no oppression at all is completely untrue.

tl;dr If a majority is making someone outside their "group" feel like she is wrong for being who she is, that's oppression.

+1!
I've been called frigid once or twice. Not asexual, though. Just finicky.

You weren't oppressed. Your "friends" were just assholes.

FOR REAL

This. The government and society aren't actively seeking to remove your rights. You are not being oppressed.

Not oppressed but I hate it when people brush this under a carpet like "deal with it". Being asexual can be very hard since the society plunges these images down our throats that every normal woman wants a man and a family + the media is very sex filled these days.
It can be very stressing when your own family and friends won't stop harping about it and don't accept asexuality as the way it is, always insisting that "You just haven't found the right person yet."/"Maybe you are a closet lesbian?"/etc. In fact, I have friends who understand and accept homosexuality but they don't understand asexuality. It's like something seriously bizarre for them.

*now do not have to share.

Above anon: they were nice about everything--my disability, several of my other friends came out as bi or gay--but they thought asexuals were fair game? I think there's something else going on here.

That's not oppression for being asexual, that's the direct result of misogyny and rape culture -- it's the patriarchy reacting to you being a woman who is not sexually available. You are not oppressed for being asexual.

I'm a lesbian. I had to come out about being a lesbian, because this identity literally differentiates me on an important level in society. There are laws against my identity, there are many states and countries in the world where my having sex or a relationship period is *illegal*. There are places in the world I could legally be put to death, and many more that a homophobe with a chip on their shoulder could commit an act of violence against me for existing. There are places in my own country I cannot live or go out of fear for my safety. My sexuality in many places in the world still TODAY is treated as a fucking disorder, and not one where you discuss why you don't feel like having sex. One where you receive electroshock treatment and aversion therapy. In a lot of the places it is no longer treated as such, it was only a few decades prior. You're not experiencing oppression for your sexuality. You're experiencing misogyny and asshole friends asking you awkward questions.

So basically, just fuck you, ok??

Fucking hate the fact I can't edit that post, but for real. I'm the lesbian from above. The word 'say' was supposed to be in my last sentence -- 'So basically, just say fuck you, ok?' No one deserves to be spoken to that way. While you aren't being oppressed for being asexual, you're being oppressed as a woman and I'm sorry you're experiencing that.

As for the other comments about 'which star would you fuck?' just answer "None." If they keep pressing you and making those asshole comments... you might need better friends.

[ SECRET POST #2267 ]

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