[ SECRET POST #2273 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2273 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 117 secrets from Secret Submission Post #325.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ], [ 1 2 3 - trolls ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

unfun anxiety stuff

[(Anonymous)]

So I stopped taking anti-anxiety meds because I was pregnant and then I was nursing and I was okay because of the hormones but now I'm not. And in that time, my psychiatrist moved away and I switched primary care doctors two months ago. So on Monday I'm calling for an appointment to go ask a complete stranger for my Klonopin back and I. Am. Terrified. Because, you know, the whole anxiety thing.

And to distract me I logged onto the RP I've been playing that I didn't tell about my crazy because I have issues with oversharing and now people are asking me if I'm okay and I'm really not and I don't want to tell them. Not that they'd be anything less than totally cool, hell, some of them have talked about their mental health openly before, but one, anxiety and two, I overshare like an oversharing thing. Because when I started this, I was in a different RP, and I left because people were making secrets on F!S about how I was an oversharing drama queen, seriously, that is why rp secrets aren't allowed anymore, yeah, I was that Sunstreaker.

And I'm hoping if I post this here I won't dump all over my online friends because the anxiety plus the new baby means I don't have any RL friends so I'm just really overwhelmed and I don't even care if I get trolled I just can't do this silently anymore and I can't even stop being crazy long enough to ask my friends for help with being crazy. Fuck my life.

Re: unfun anxiety stuff

[chardmonster]

Have you ever tried a nonmedical ways to cope with your anxiety? Besides escapism I mean.

Also: frankly, if you have so many RP friends who use this site you aren't really avoiding unloading this on them at all? They're going to see it. That's why you said you're that Sunstreaker. You want them to see it but are kind of dancing around it. It's okay to want them to see that you're having problems.

Re: unfun anxiety stuff

[(Anonymous)]

I've tried some, and some work (my diet is low on caffiene/sugar and I have mastered the art of the deep breath and the self-talk) but none of those are working right now. I was on the medication for a reason; by the time I was coping with anxiety non-medically I was spending twenty-five hours a day managing it.
I mean, my husband thought he had an ear infection because the baby did, so he went to the doctor to get it checked out, and after an hour I had to call him to make sure he wasn't in the hospital with brain cancer or something. And it still took me half a day to stop shaking. I just want to go back to taking a pill every day and not having this happen in the first place.

Re: unfun anxiety stuff

[(Anonymous)]

also, I don't think they know I was that Sunstreaker, but I also don't think this new RP has a lot of people who frequent this site. And if they do and they know who I am, well, I'm sorry, the anxiety won't let me, I'm not dancing around like this for fun.

Re: unfun anxiety stuff

[chardmonster]

No, the old RP friends are who I'm talking about. And it's fine! That wasn't supposed to read as a criticism. Just that if you're having problems it's alright to let people know who you are.

As for the other stuff: I'm not attacking you for taking anxiety medication (someone might jump in and say I'm doing that). I'm wondering if there's something you can do for the length of that appointment.

Re: unfun anxiety stuff

[(Anonymous)]

I have a list of Things To Say all typed up and printed out, but I know myself and if I don't distract myself I'll go rewrite it obsessively and work myself up. And once I get in the appointment, I'll either be okay-ish because I am finally getting help or I'll be completely not okay and they'll believe that I really need help, so it's kind of a win-win there. I've switched doctors a truly ridiculous amount of time because when I first started this, I didn't have insurance and went to a free clinc with an insane turnover rate; I had five doctors in three years. So I've done this before, and I know a lot of what I'm worrying about is just plain stupid, but I can't stop it on my own and I'm getting frustrated on top of it.

Re: unfun anxiety stuff

[(Anonymous)]

Are you capable of sticking to a script? If you can, try to plan out in advance what to share and then stop at that point (potentially relying on more scripts to use for ending the conversation). Explanations like that are a lot easier if you've rehearsed what you're going to say than if you have to try to figure it out on the fly.

Re: unfun anxiety stuff

[(Anonymous)]

Yes! I have a script! Scripts are awesome for coping! I've done this before, because I've had to change doctors a lot, and I still type up a script every time. I don't even care how it makes me look to have to read off a sheet of paper any more; if I didn't need the paper, I wouldn't need the meds.

Anybody else with anxiety who may be reading this: the two most helpful things I have ever found for difficult conversations are scripts and practice.