fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2273 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2273 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I gave a guy my number today when he asked, because he seemed very nice and was really sweet about it. Then he texts me and wants to know if I want to "smoke some bud" and watch the Hobbit on dvd later.

*HEADSMASH*

That sounds a lot like a casual sex invite to me, and I feel really uncomfortable about getting high with a virtual stranger. Also, I don't do sex, so yes, I realize how stupid it was to give him my number in the first place.

How do I shut this down before it starts, FS?

You could reply "who is this?" Then you can just pretend you gave him a fake number.

Or you could say "No thanks, I'm busy."

You don't have to say much. Quick and simple is the way to go.

And it wasn't stupid! You put yourself out there, so good for you. He's just not the right guy for you.

Text him back that you think he has the wrong number.

And hope to dear god you don't see him again.

"sorry no lol"

or just don't respond

I mean, I feel like this is the kind of thing where he's going to get the message pretty quick, you know?

Aww honey! I would come and protect you!

My advise: Ignore him!

Thank you!

I'm sorry I've been so MIA here lately. Hopefully when classes end for the summer I'll have more time for FS.

Don't worry, dear I've been pretty MIA too. Same here, if I don't get a job where I have to get up insanely early, then not so much.

Just say you don't smoke and you never plan on doing so. Nothing turns off a pothead faster than someone who doesn't smoke. He'll end up ignoring you.

How you say no: say no.

Also, is this some new fangled teen lingo I'm not aware of? Since when does "come do weed and watch a movie" mean "let's have lots and lots of casual sex"? I'm just not seeing that leap. Unless weed makes you horny? I wouldn't know, never done it myself.

Well, the one other time I've been given an invitation like that, it turned out to totally be a casual sex invite once I got there, and he was all "what did you THINK I wanted to do?" so....I guess that's just what I think of first when I hear an invite like that.

She'd be going to a guy's house. By herself.

Yes, there are people who would say that's pretty much consenting to sex, and that if her forced himself on her or did something that made her uncomfortable, well what did she expect going to a man's house by herself.

I had a guy who was obviously trying to get into my pants try to get me to come to his apartment by insisting that we would just drink tea and talk, so trying to get someone to come to your house for sex by offering them weed and movies doesn't surprise me at all.

What the fuck. Going to a guy's house by yourself is consenting to sex? This is definitely not the world I live in, and I'm sorry it's the world you live in. :(

Look, obviously it ISN'T consent, but some people think that by agreeing to be alone with a man, you are agreeing to do ALL the things that men and women can do while alone.

Yes, guys that think that way are douchebags and probably rare, but I don't want to take the chance.

Of course you don't, and the whole thread is about how you're not interested in this guy so why should you even think about chancing it.

I just found the 'going to a guy's house by herself' comment really jarring, and it makes me sad. I'm not doubting that there are people who think like that, that is why I'm sad. And I do wonder if it is a generational thing, so I'm kind of thinking 'oh, is this shit actually getting worse rather than better', which is also depressing.

I think that since casual sex is more acceptable now, it is also more expected. Like....it shouldn't be a big deal anymore, so when someone you don't really know says "hang out" there's like a 50% chance that they're including sex as part of "hanging out". Then if you don't want to you're like that girl in the corner who thinks that using tampons is a sin or something.

Welcome to the real world anon, it's the world you live in. You just to open your eyes. No matter how uncomfortable it is for you.

Kinda sad at how naive you are, and jealous at the same time

What the hell? I'm a grown adult, I've been to men's houses all by myself either to have sex or not to have sex. Where I'm from, it's not 'expected' to have sex with a guy just because you go to his house by yourself, sorry.

Oooh, Hobbit! Sorry...

I have no idea what a casual sex invite sounds like, but if you don't want to respond, don't. It sounds like he's not someone you know so maybe you won't run into him again, and he probably won't exert much energy trying to get you to go out with him again either.

If you do want to respond saying you don't smoke or want to be around it would probably do the trick.

ignore. you're not obligated to respond to every text you receive.

Ignore. Or say "Thanks, but I'd rather not." Don't give a reason, then he might ask again when #reason doesn't apply, and that doesn't seem to be a thing you want to happen.

Don't beat yourself up about giving him your number. If we were obligated or even expected to have sex with everyone we exchanged phone numbers with, the world would be different. And weirder. And not in a good way.

I try not to be a hardass about recreational drugs, but it'd make me /eyetwitch a little if someone I only just met just casually mentions smoking pot as part of a potential kinda sorta date. I don't care if people smoke pot and I think it should be legalized, but I consider making the offer to a stranger a really dumb judgement call.

Try to resist hedging and giving excuses, as it leaves the door open for more invites. If you're not interested, period, then just say no thanks and leave it at that.

Tell him that's not your scene. Seconding the above comment about potsmokers quickly backing off "squares". If he keeps texting keep all your responses short, vague, and borderline rude and dismissive. If he keeps texting after two or three brushoffs ignore him.

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