Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-04-05 06:34 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-04-05 06:34 pm
[ SECRET POST #2285 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2285 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
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02.
[NCIS]
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03.
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04.
[Kirk Cameron]
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05.
[Lindsay Lohan, Sean Penn, Sean Bean]
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06.
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07.
[MCU/Marvel movies - NOT the comics]
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08.
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09.
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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
10. [SPOILERS for Spartacus War of the Damned]
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11. [SPOILERS for Dangan Ronpa]
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12. [SPOILERS for The Walking Dead]
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13. [SPOILERS for House MD]
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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
14. [WARNING for rape]
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15. [WARNING for abuse]
[the beatles]
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #326.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: I think I take last names and throwaway lines a bit too seriously
(Anonymous) 2013-04-06 05:00 am (UTC)(link)Re: I think I take last names and throwaway lines a bit too seriously
My parents were married when I was conceived and born, and I am their biological child. But they are also total feminist-type hippies and decided to give me a different last name from them entirely, rather than either my father's last name or my mother's maiden name (aka my grandfather's last name), to stick it to the patriarchy.
This really threw off a lot of people, and all through my life, people kept trying to "change" my last name in various ways, usually by playing fast and loose with administrative discretion. When filling out the initial paperwork, the hospital put down my father's surname as mine with my actual surname as my middle name, as did the insurance company, even though my father informed them beforehand that wasn't how my naming was going to go. When he went to the Social Security office to get all my legal documents after my birth, we ended up spending all day in there as the admins kept trying to insist that because I was my father's biological daughter, I had to have his last name (they only relented after they were unable to find a regulation in any law book - and apparently they looked through some - mandating that I have my father's last name), though finally we got that all cleared up.
That said, at one of my schools, the entire time I was a student there, accepted my surname as it was based on the records given to them by my mother upon registering, putting it on roll call lists and report cards and my student ID and everything. But at the last minute just before graduation, they put down the version of my name on the original birth certificate on my graduation diploma (my last name as my middle name, and my father's surname as my last name), and claimed that only being presented with a current passport would allow them to reprint it correctly - which they didn't tell me until it was practically too late to actually get my passport to be able to give it to them, so if I wanted a diploma I had to use the one with my father's surname on it. Luckily, it was only middle school, so the diploma wasn't important. I didn't go to the graduation ceremony, and when I picked up the diploma from the office, I confirmed I didn't actually need the diploma for future recordkeeping, and promptly tossed it in the trash. Their shocked faces when I did that were epic. They actually mailed another one over with the wrong name to my home, but my mom was on my side so she also threw it out. (And thankfully, my high school never pulled any shit like this on me.)
A lot of those people, I'm sure, were well-meaning and simply assumed my surname not matching up to my parents' was a clerical error and nothing more when they "corrected" it on various forms and paperwork. But most of them thought something was wrong with my last name being my own and not one of my parents, and they changed it because they thought I was 'doing' the name wrong. I nearly cried when I was seven years old when a school secretary flat out told me and my father that my name was wrong and that he should change my last name to his. (And it wasn't just about ease of administration/paperwork filing either - often, we were asked if I was adopted or what my parents' marital status was, because if my last name was different due to one of those reasons, then it would've been okay and they would've left it alone.)
So yeah, I take unwanted name changes very seriously. We attach our identity to our names, and to change the name just because you think it's "wrong" tends to feel like you think that identity is wrong, and that something is wrong with us for wanting a different name than what society/the existing system gives us.