fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2286 ]

[ SECRET POST #2286 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2286 ⌋

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Tell me F!S, suppose you're having dinner with several people. If one starts eating right after helping themself, without waiting for everyone else to get served too; where you live, is it considered rude or not? Can you explain why so?

I think it's considered rude if you're expected to participate in saying grace first -- I know I've been scolded for jumping ahead at dinner with my (Catholic) family.

Where I live you're expected to wait until everybody has been served but I've lived places where that isn't the case. I don't care what the people around me do either way. If I'm someplace where you're supposed to wait, I wait. If I'm someplace where you're not expected to wait, then I don't.

You wait until everyone is served, it is rude to start eating before everyone can...

That's was I was taught too.
Just taught, not explained, I never questionned it and I don't know why and how it's rude not to wait. It's just the way things are done?

I've been told it's rude but it's not something that would raise eyebrows, in my experience.

It's rude where I'm from. You're expected to read your dua together first.

Although by 'where I'm from', I mean the background I was raised in, which included Islamic schools, etc. I know plenty of Muslim families who don't read their dua together when they eat (or don't read dua, period). I'd still say in most places it's rude though, because you should help make sure everyone else is served as well first.

Where I live it is technically considered rude to start eating without waiting for everyone to be served, because here meals are usually considered social things. So, by jumping in you're kind of coming off as if you don't really want to be there, and can't wait to get away.

That said, if people actually care will depend on the people involved and circumstances [for example, if everyone knows you're going to have to leave early, then it's more acceptable - or that you're going to be late, then they might go ahead and start.] So, technically yes, but it depends.

It's considered rude where I'm from, mostly because meals are something you share with other people. If you start eating before everyone is served, then it kind of signals that you're in it more for the food than the people/conversation and that you're in a hurry to get started and be done with it. I still to this day won't start eating if I'm out at a restaurant until everyone at the table gets their food.

I eat if food's in front of me, but I'm not religious so....

It's rude, but I don't worry about it with family. Where I live people often explicitly say "don't wait for me" as well.

I would consider it very rude, yeah.

In my mind, the logic has always been that you're being greedy - trying to eat quick so you can get more than your fair share. I'm not sure that makes any sense; it probably has more to do with family dysfunctions than any actual logic. But that's how I've always thought of it.

Yes. Usually, we wait until everyone is served and then we start eating, because it doesn't seem fair to the person who's busy doing the serving or whatever. Meals are for bonding.

Depends the context. If it's kind of formal or with people you are not that acquainted yes it's rude. You should wait until everybody has food on their plate before digging in.
But in other contexts is fine.

Re: a question about table manners

inkdust - 2013-04-07 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

it's rude, but I think that's becoming a less common sentiment with younger people. Maybe it's falling out of fashion.

kind of rude. my sister is the only person I know who does this and my mother and/or I don't hesitate to give her looks when she does. it just...seems rude lol. I don't know how to explain it. I'm a new englander, by the way.

Kind of depends. Like, if you've served yourself and are waiting on everyone else but nibbling from the vegetable platter in the meantime or something, that wouldn't be considered rude here. If you're having a big dinner or potluck with more people than can fit at one table you're good to start eating as soon as you sit down (you may, however, be inclined to wait until someone joins you, just for social reasons).

Yes; you wait until everyone is served, but in particular the host unless they encourage you to eat while they're serving themselves. Not only is it about respecting the other people at your table as well as the host who provided the food for you all, it's also super easy to do: if you can't wait at tops a minute to start your meal, considering you grew up knowing that it is polite to wait, then it just makes you look inconsiderate and greedy.

Not considered rude, at least for my family. We care much more about HOW you eat. Like mouth open, lots of gross wet noises? That shit is rude as fuck to us.

Depends upon the formality of the meal and the customs of the host/majority of guests. In more formal occasions you wait. If it's very informal you don't. If certain customs need to be performed before eating because of the host or majority of guests then it's rude to jump ahead of whatever needs to be done.

in my immediate family no, not really. unless that one aunt is there.

I've been taught it's rude to touch your food until everyone at the table has been served, especially the host.

It is rude, because if other people are waiting for your food, and you're sitting there eating in front of them... well, it makes them feel hungry.

Especially in restaurants where you might have to wait fifteen minutes for your meal, and somebody else might have to wait thirty.

I'm late, but.... I think it depends on how formal the party/meal is. A very formal meal, I think you should wait until everyone is served (and the host/tess is served last). Informal - not so much.

Casual dining with family and/or friends - not that rude unless there's a pre-meal ritual to be observed. Generally speaking, if you're with people you know well, you know what's expected of you and others, and if eating after serving yourself is fine, you know that, and it's not rude.
More formal dining with guests/people you're not familiar with - rather rude. You don't always know what these people expect of you, and it's more polite to err on the side of caution when you're unfamiliar with the particular arrangement. If the host has no compunctions about such things, they'll generally encourage guests to dig in.

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