fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2292 ]

[ SECRET POST #2292 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2292 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Criminal Minds]

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[Zero Escape]

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08. [repeat]

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09.

[Veronica Mars]

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10.

[Mariqueen Maandig/How to Destroy Angels]

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[Fire Emblem Awakening]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

14. [SPOILERS for Teen Wolf]

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15. [SPOILERS for Walking Dead]

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16. [SPOILERS for Walking Dead]

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17. [SPOILERS for Walking Dead]

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18. [SPOILERS for Hell on Wheels]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

19. [WARNING for rape]

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20. [WARNING for guro, non-con]
http://i.imgur.com/1TrlMId.jpg

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #327.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I was reading through all the religion threads of the last two days, and it got me to wondering: what are all of you're guys's favorite stories from your/a religious text/myth/etc.?

Mines got to be in the Bible, in Judges, where this woman invites the enemy commander into her tent, gets him drunk, lets him sleep, then pounds a motherfucking tentpole through his forehead.

I don't care if it actually happened or not, that story is badass.

I also adore the Egyptian story of Osiris, and how, when he got cut into pieces, Isis ran around and fetched them all, except for one, and that was the one eaten by a fish.

How about you guys?

The one where God tells Abraham to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, so Abraham takes him up on a mountain alter or something and is all ready to stab him and then God is like "LMAO, dude. Just fucking with you. Wanted to make sure you loved me and shit." I have always been oddly aroused by that story. WHAT KINK IS THAT?

WHAT KINK IS THAT?

Trolling?
Human sacrifice?
Abusive relationships?
Emotional blackmail?
Tremendously bad parenting?

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

fingalsanteater - 2013-04-13 00:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

mekkio - 2013-04-13 01:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

fingalsanteater - 2013-04-13 02:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-13 03:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

blunderbuss - 2013-04-13 06:58 (UTC) - Expand

"I can do better"?

Yi used a bow and arrows to shoot nine out of ten suns out of the the sky because they were killing everyone. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houyi#The_Time_of_the_Ten_Suns

I have a special place in my heart for this myth. We learned it, with the part about Chang'e rising to the moon, for my Chinese class a year or two ago.

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-13 00:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

fromherbones - 2013-04-13 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-13 01:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

fromherbones - 2013-04-13 13:02 (UTC) - Expand

I'll be a bit boring and choose the day that Bilal bin Rabah first gave the azan. It's either that or the time Khalifah Umar (before he became Khalifah ofc) was going to migrate to Madinah, he went to the town square of Makkah and announced that anyone wanting to commit suicide was welcome to try and stop him, and went on his way.

That man was so badass. Like how Prophet Muhammad saw said even the freaking devil runs away when he sees Umar coming? He's my hero :D

Orpheus and Eurydice, when he goes to get her back from Hades, and the story of Lot. When you are told to not look back, don't look back, you dumbass.

I'm actually a huge Classial mythology nerd/enthusiast. It could actually be my first fandom, now that I'm thinking about it, or at least first fannish type feelings. I went to bed every night for a while listening to cassette tapes of D'aulaires Book of Greek Myths.

Let's see, favorites... I love pretty much most stuff that involved the gods as opposed to heroes, and I love most of the things in Ovid's Metamorphoses (Ovid and Catullus are my favorite Roman poets).

I've always had a weird fondness for the myth of Persephone, mostly because when I was younger I read these kids books that retold myths in Hades' perspective. I also like the story of Apollo and Daphne, that to get Apollo to back off Daphne turned into a laurel tree.

Pygmalion's good too, but mostly because in Latin the it's just SO beautifully written.

You read the Myth-O-Mania books too?!

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

writerserenyty - 2013-04-12 23:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

loracarol - 2013-04-13 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

Well, there's always that time Thor and Loki dressed in drag, went to a party with this as their disguise, and slaughtered their enemies while wearing dresses.

I also kind of love the brag-off in Beowulf. "I swam the ocean!" "I swam the ocean more!" "I swam the ocean and killed ALL THE MONSTERS IN IT!" "I did that twice!" etc.

Is that the myth where Thor dresses as the bride and Loki as his bridesmaid? I love that one.

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-13 00:14 (UTC) - Expand

I always liked that one!

I like the one from the Bible where King Saul tells David to collect the foreskins of 100 Philistines, and David brings back 200 foreskins.

Someone posted this yesterday, but I'm going to talk about it again, because I just think it's hilarious:

Elijah is walking into a city when some kids tease him for being bald. So, of course, he sics bears on them, and the bears rip the kids to shreds. It's just... It's so over the top, it's hilarious. To me, at least.

That always seemed a bit extreme to me too. XD Although, to be fair, I think it was more about mocking the words of a prophet than follicular insecurity, lol. (spell check said follicular isn't a word, da fuck?)

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

loracarol - 2013-04-13 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

The story about how Horus tricked his uncle into eating jizz salad.

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-12 23:58 (UTC) - Expand

I think I'd have to go with the Twelve Labors of Hercules. Not because I particularly like Hercules, he's kind of a terrible asshole, I just love fantastic mythological monsters and that myth has some of my favorites, like the Hydra, Cerberus, the Stymphalian birds.

The birth of Sleipnir. Everything about it - the gods fucking with the giant, Loki seducing the giant's horse, Loki carrying the pregnancy to term, Loki giving his son to Odin as a gift... It's all so ridiculous.

I love Prometheus. Dude is super awesome. He gave people stuff, unlike the gods who were kind of dicks. And what did he get for it? Chained to a rock with a bird eating his internal organs every day.

Good story.

I'm pretty fond of the one about the islands of Japan being made of divine jizz and connected to heaven via a rainbow bridge, myself.

Not quite a story, but I love the way angels are supposed to be monstrous beings of light whose entire purpose is to serve and love god. When you take that into consideration, Lucifer rebelling and getting a whole bunch of angels to also break free makes him a pretty badass dude.

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

mekkio - 2013-04-13 02:05 (UTC) - Expand

My favourite has always been the story of Hades and Persephone. I blame some of the stories that romanticised it by making Hades this handsome but lonely and possessive god who bargained with Persephone to stay in the underworld after he kidnaps her. Okay, so it sounds horrible and screams non-consensual, especially in the original story.

I'd like to do retelling of it, though. Except I'll probably have the "Persephone" character run away rather than get kidnapped.

This might make some people mad at me, but I love stories from the Bible that can be interpreted not as "divine intervention" or as "miracles on account of faith", but as simple decency.

There's the one where Jesus goes to speak to this huge crowd, and it's a lot bigger than anyone expected, and so they don't have any food around. So these people are getting hungry, and eventually either a little kid comes forth or somebody finds something or whatever but they end up with two loaves of bread and a fish for like a thousand people.

And in the actual story/myth, Jesus prays over the bread and fish and passes it around and miraculously, even after everyone's eaten, at the end they've still got two loaves of bread and a fish.

But until I was maybe 10 (and this is the version I ascribe to now), I always thought it had nothing to do with miracles. It was just that the first person in line looked at the bread and fish and realized that this was all that kid had to eat, and he gave it up 'cause he thought it would help. And so they said, "Well, I'll be fine, really..." and passed it on.

And the second person got it, and looked at the food, and looked at the kid, and looked at the first person, and said, "Well, I know I'll be fine, but I think I have some cheese in my pocket, in case there's someone who won't be fine and doesn't have anything." And so they added that and passed it along, and so on down the line. And some people added, and some people took, and at the end they were left with two loaves of bread and a fish.

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-13 02:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Your favorite story from religion/myth

(Anonymous) - 2013-04-13 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

Minotaur Maze was always my favourite

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