fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2296 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2296 ⌋

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Okay, so I recently moved to the US and I'm just starting to learn how to drive now. I never had to drive in my previous country because we had tons of public transportation. But I need to be able to drive here especially when I get a job (if I ever get a call back ;_;).

Except I get so anxious and nervous in front of the wheel. Idk, it feels so much faster when I'm doing the driving and it doesn't help that the guy teaching me has so many critiques (turn's too wide/too sharp, go faster, whoa too fast) and it's just freaking me out even more. Everyone tells me to calm down and it's simple, but when will the anxiety stop? :(

When will the anxiety stop? When you drive more, unfortunately.

If you can get a hold of a car, some safety pylons, and an empty parking lot, you can get a better sense of where your car is by trying to touch the pylons with only the corners of the car.

Is the too fast comment made when you're turning? Pay attention to how you feel when you're the passenger and the driver's turning. When you're driving, try to get the same feel.

Imagine driving along the edge of a perfect quarter-circle when you're making a turn next to the center lane. Turn with the curb, or as close to the curb as you can make it, when you're turning on the outside lane.

Hope this helps!

Thanks! I think the parking lot might help. We tried practicing on one but they told us to leave. I'll see if we can find another one.

Yeah, I usually turn too slow or fast. There were times I did it just fine but I haven't gotten it perfect yet.

Big empty parking lots help a lot. When I was learning to drive, my dad would take me to the local high school on weekends, and I'd drive in circles. That was fun. :)

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I did this too. Mostly figures eights forwards and backwards, practicing parking in those parkings spots...and built up your experience/hours!

Some things really are just practice to get the movements right.

It's one of those things that you honestly just have to get used to. The more you drive, the more comfortable you'll be, the more natural it'll feel, and the easier it will be. There's no "aha!" moment. It's just a matter of your brain slowly adapting to the idea of the car as something your body has control over rather than a big hunk of metal that you're sitting in and figuring out how your body and the car fit together.

To help an anxiety: remember that all your instructor's instructions aren't "fix this and don't do it again". Doing it wrong is absolutely essential for the learning process. I don't just mean "everybody makes mistakes", I mean that to learn how to drive a car safely, you MUST have first-hand experience of what "wrong" entails, so that if you ever do make a mistake, you will recognize it right away and fix it before you crash.

His remarks are just things that you need to hear every time you screw up, so that every time you turn too sharp, his remark will ensure that you will be forced to notice what constitutes "too sharp", and when you get it right, the absence of a remark will force you to notice what constitutes "right", and therefore you will eventual get an instinctive idea of how not to go too sharp.

Thank you! His critiques just make me nervous because I'm already such a klutzy person outside the car and any mention of accidents, I always think "welp that's gonna be me." I know he means well though and I am improving a little, kinda. :D

I'm still in the "what is this giant piece of metal" stage, but I'll definitely keep practicing.

Calming down will probably help your driving if you can manage it, but I know from experience that's easier said than done. :/

If you can, try doing some practice in a cemetery. They're a great place to work on your steering and maneuverability because they have very low speed limits and not much in the way of traffic or pedestrians to worry about. Parking lots for abandoned businesses can also be good spots to practice, especially for bad-weather driving (how to handle hydroplaning and ice, etc) and the dreaded parallel park.

Once you're more comfortable with your driving in places where you don't really have to worry about other people, it's easier to start working your way up to busier traffic.

Ooh the cemetery's a good idea. Never thought of that one. Thanks!

That's perfectly natural, and it's exactly how I felt when I first learned how to drive. Unfortunately, there's no real fix except for practicing, which will help you improve and help your confidence, too.

Second the suggestion to find a really big, empty parking lot where there's no danger of hitting anything. Just practice the simple stuff like turning, parking, acceleration/braking etc. until it doesn't feel so weird.

Dittoing the other "it takes time to get comfortable driving" comments.

I was super awkward and anxious when I was first driving, but with practice over time I got used to the car being under my control and how it moved. I really recommend practicing the simple things like backing up, getting into the habit of always checking your mirrors before you do things, and getting a feel for what it feels like to go different speeds; basics build up to and make the more difficult things easier.

The first time I took my driver's test I failed because I spent too much time learning to parallel park, but not enough on properly backing up and controlling my speed while going downhill; the first of which would have helped me better parallel park to begin with.

Try driving around parking lots. Empty and busy ones. There are people and other cars around for you to pay attention to if you go through busy ones, but its all at low speeds so you can gradually get used to focusing on what you and other drivers and pedestrians are doing.

I didn't feel really comfortable driving until I'd been doing it on a regular basis for a while (which wasn't until I was in my mid-20s, years after I passed my driving test, because I didn't have my own car before then or anywhere I needed to commute to that I coulkd only get to by car), so it's just one of those things that comes with practice and framiliarity. People say it's simple because it eventually becomes muscle memory and you don't have to actively think about it much. When you first start, though, it's a complex set of tasks and you're hardly the only one who finds it a lot to take in.

Just remember that one day, driving will be completely intuitive and easy and fun (unless you have to drive for hours a day, in which case cut the fun part probably). Learning the ropes will take more than a few laps around the local high school's parking lot, but you will get the hang of it in no time.

You may need a different instructor, tbh--the last thing you need is to be flustered before you even start. One of my classmates in driver's ed failed her test (and it was her third try) because she was so nervous that she tried to shift the car into drive before she had even started the thing.

Find somewhere with very little traffic, and practice every day with someone you trust.

[ SECRET POST #2296 ]

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