fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2298 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2298 ⌋

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My mother is pretty staunchly convinced that when I leave for school in August, my roommate will be a disgusting leech who steals my food.

What if they're a nice leech who steals my food? I'm not good at open confrontation with people who are nice to me. How do you deal with a roommate in general? (As far as I know, we have two seperate bedrooms, a small kitchen, and a smaller living space)

Is your mother a bear?

Why is she so worried about your food supply?

She was just as equally worried about my stuff and demanded I get one of those huge trunks with a padlock...she's just like that. but I did LOL.

A discussion of boundaries with your new roommate should clear that up. Make sure they know what you are absolutely unwilling to tolerate and listen to and remember what they are absolutely unwilling to tolerate, then stay outside those bounds.

Maybe section off which drawers/cabinets you each use so you can keep your food separate, but have areas that are for grab-n-growl? Left cabinet is mine, right is yours; top shelf in the fridge is mine, bottom is yours; anything left on the counter is fair game.

HELLO NEW ROOMMATE I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU OF MY BOUNDARIES

THE LEFT SIDE OF THE ROOM IN RELATION TO THE DOORWAY WILL HENSEFORTH BE KNOWN AS MORIERISDOM

YOU WILL NOT ENTER MORIERISDOM WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM MORIERIS

YOU SHALL NOT GAZE UPON THE LAPTOP SCREEN OF MORIERISDOM. SHOULD YOU GAZE UPON THE LAPTOP SCREEN YOU WILL NOT MENTION WHAT YOU SEE UPON IT

YOU SHALL UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES APPROACH THE COMBINATION MINIFRIDGE AND MICROWAVE OF MORIERIS

YOU WILL NOT EAT THE COOKIES PROVIDED BY MORIERISMOM SAVE APPROXIMATELY 5%, HENSEFORTH KNOWN AS THE "ROOMMATE TITHE."

ayrt: Lol!

I have actually saved this and will relay it to them. LOL Thank you so much.

Oh god that poor girl

No no, not really!

...If all goes well.

This is kinda what me and my roommate did. We had our own cupboards, our own parts of the fridge, and anything to be 'shared' (or offered as such) would be on the counter or we'd just say/ask.

And yeah, setting some ground rules from the start would be good. Just don't go crazy and set hundreds of them lest you look like a control freak. :p Be reasonable.

Put your food in a bag and hang it from a high tree. No, wait. You do that for bears.

To be, honest, the only thing I can think of is to label everything as yours. And to practice this phrase, "Dude. Seriously? Dude!" while holding empty boxes. Do it until you can do it in your sleep. So that way, you will go into automatic mode if your roommate turns out to be a food thief.

When you move in, try and have a talk with them about how you want to split things up. Don't be hostile, but be firm. For example, who buys cleaning supplies and toliet paper, or how you might buy a carton of eggs for both of you to save room, but if you buy something you don't want to share, label it with your name. Or, go with the safer route and establish "only buy what you eat."

Don't forget that your roommate is a person just like you - probably nervous about a new roommate and worried you won't be compatible.

I've lived with multiple roommates both sharing a room and with separate rooms over the years. The best thing I've found is to basically sit down with them at some point in the early days and lay some ground rules and boundaries. Stuff like who does what chore, or how often it needs to be done [because, trust me, there *are* roommates who will leave dirty dishes in the sink for *days* if you don't], how to handle common areas [how much personal stuff you want to be able to leave in there, etc], and yeah. Usually sectioning up the cabinets, drawers, and shelves of the kitchen so no one can cry 'I didn't know!' if they eat the other person's food.

You should talk it over with your roommate and set down some house rules you both follow.

My mom told me to lock away all my belongings once because my new roommate was black. I was so embarrassed.

Just on the first night suggest politely that you two sit down and sort out chores, sharing foods/not sharing foods, public living space, buying toilet paper. Changes are s/he is fretting over the same things. It's alright.

Eh.

My feeling with roommates is that either they're cool / chill - in which case it'll all work out and you'll come to a modus vivendi pretty easily, as long as you're clear about what you care about and how you define your space, and you'll adapt to each other pretty easily - or they're not cool - in which case it won't matter what you try to do or what boundaries you set and your life will become a constant Cold War of sniping and resentment and muttering and hatred.

Or maybe that's just my experience.

It helps to room with people you already know and like but mostly it's just plain old dumb luck. If you're lucky you will get along very well with your roommate. If not, you can try and stay out of each others way. I've heard a few stories where people really didn't get along but usually it's something in the middle.

If there is ever a conflict, just approach them and say, "Hey is it ok if we talk about something? The dishes don't always got washed blah blah etc." Don't let it build up and don't be passive aggressive about anything. Just say what you need to say, you have a right to speak up too as a roommate, you don't have to be angry or anything when you do confront people.

Stealing food is an oddly specific thing to warn you about though.

[ SECRET POST #2298 ]

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