fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2301 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2301 ⌋

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Notes:

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How do you go about convincing people that you are in some ways mentally handicapped and need help? I keep trying to explain to my parents or friends but they just keep assuming I'm being too hard on myself or looking for compliments.

I come off as fairly intelligent and "normal" adult but I have some very strong handicaps when it comes to being independent and self sufficient. I can't with money/finances/bills and other more complex adult responsibilities. It's a subject that a lot think I'm just being lazy about but it's more that I cannot understand or comprehend no matter how hard I try. I just get frustrated and can't handle it. It's hard to explain but it is definitely not just laziness or me not trying hard enough.

Recently I have tried to go to my parents and friends for help but they all seem to think I'm just not trying hard enough. I don't know how to explain that I think there is something seriously wrong with my intelligence or the way my brain works.

Go talk to someone qualified to help you with your insecurity. Don't underestimate the power of psyching yourself out; if you've decided you can't do these things/are mentally handicapped, you sure won't ever manage them.

And if they're not insecure do have a legitimate cognitive disability, trying to force themselves to do things they're not capable of rather than develop coping skills and/or find different ways to achieve the same ends is going to do nothing but wear themselves out and destroy their self-esteem.

Seriously, been there, done that. There's no valor in insisting on doing things the hard way.

Skip the parents and family members and go straight to qualified professionals. See if your state (if you're in the US) has some sort of aid or support for adults with disabilities. If you can, make an appt with a doctor and discuss it with them and get an official diagnosis.

Yes, this, exactly. If you think you have an actual disability, getting a diagnosis is the most helpful thing you can do for yourself right now.

This is good advice. Your parents and friends might never understand. After you see a doctor you can always try discussing it with them again (if you want), but the most important thing right now is helping yourself.

This. The best way to stop looking like a snowflake to your friends and family is to get a real diagnosis.

First, there's a pretty big difference between being mentally handicapped and having a learning disability, which is what this sounds like. Which means it's incredibly likely it's not that "you can't" with finances, etc., it's that you haven't found the way that works for you. And you probably won't on your own.

Are you in school? If you are, see a counselor, express your concerns, and see about getting tested. From there, more possibilities should open up for you. Sadly, you can't make your family understand shit. But it's not because of your intelligence.

Go to a medical professional.

This is what the education system has done to the latest generation, folks.

Seriously. They taught currency in grade one when I was growing up.

If by "financial things" you mean like credit cards, banking, etc., OP, there are some steps you can take.

1. Open a bank account. Walk into most convenient branch to your house (that requires the least amount of travel and is open during the most convenient hours for you). Go to the Information desk as soon as you walk in. Ask to speak to someone about opening an account.

Explain to the account manager you want a starter's bank account. If you're the right age, you can get a student account, which has significant savings on account charges, etc.

DO NOT LET THEM GIVE YOU A CREDIT CARD. If the account manager starts overloading you with info, or overwhelming you with too many options (this will be your red flag), bail and find another bank. The best thing to do would be to find a credit union, but those are hard to find, these days.

The best way to learn how to manage your finances, is to start managing your finances. If you can do that while you're still living at home, and have a safety net, you're golden. (Just don't get a credit card right away. Or, you know, EVER.) Trust me on this. The one way you DON'T want to learn how to handle your finances, is when you really really need to, and you're hopelessly lost. So good on you for wanting to be proactive, OP!

[ SECRET POST #2301 ]

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