fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2301 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2301 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry for lateness, had internet issues.

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Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 078 secrets from Secret Submission Post #329.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I recently rejoined fandom after about a decade away, and it was great at first. Better than great, actually. I made friends with some awesome people, I've been writing some very well-received fic, and I was generally having the time of my life. I've never in my whole life gotten such a positive response about anything I've written, and now I've suddenly got actual *fans* (they call themselves that, not me).

I just finished writing a sequel fic to one of my 2 best known fics, and the anxiety I have surrounding it is crippling me. I'm terrified that it's not good enough for the reputation that I've gotten, and it makes me want to just delete all my accounts and hide.

I really love fandom, and there was a part of me that always wanted to be fandom popular or whatever, but now that I am, it's making me want to hide under a rock.

What the hell is wrong with me, fs? :-(

Expectations aren't easy to live up to. Maybe if you wait a little bit to post the story or even have someone read over it you (and possibly your readers) might be more objective about it. Sort of give the anxiety time to fade a bit.

If it's not fun for you anymore, stop doing it.

But I suggest not deleting, at least not without warning. That's a good way to put yourself at the center of a lot of drama. Just put up a note saying that you need a break. Some entitled idiots might start shit but you need to do what's best for you.

Take a deep breath and try to find calm. Take a step back from fandom, maybe a day or two off. Sometimes that's all it takes - just a break from the madness and your anxiety might calm. It might just be all too much right now.

I think it's pretty normal. When no one's looking at you, it doesn't matter so much if you mess up. If everyone's looking on with high expectations, THE PRESSURE IS ON. Just smile and nod at the gushing, take a deep breath, and keep going. You don't have to live up to the hype; nothing ever lives up to the hype; your audience may think it lives up the hype anyway.

This. Rarely does anything live up to hype, and there's really nothing you can do about that. Do the best you can, tell the stories you want to tell and have fun with it. If your participation in fandom continues to be unfun and you can't overcome the anxiety then maybe take a break, tell people you need some time to yourself. If that doesn't work...well, just stop. Not much point in writing or participating in fandom if you hate it.

Plus, you can always go back to lurking if that suits you better.

I get that you probably don't want them to know about this, but I imagine if you mentioned the anxiety to your friends or readers they would understand to. Everyone experiences it at some point. It's okay.

OP

I just want to seem like everyone else, if that makes sense? I also feel like if I said something that people would just say that I'm doing it for the sake of drama.

Which, in turn, makes me more anxious.

*sigh*

All of you are right, of course. It's just hard to hear it.

There might be people who say that, but again, you can't really control what people think. People can misinterpret anything so there's not much point of worrying too much about it imo. If you don't want to mention it that's understandable, but those other writers probably go through the same thing sometimes... They just might not mention it either.

I hope things work out OP!

I'm experiencing this same phenomenon right now and yeah, it's really weird. Every time I post a new chapter of the long fic I'm working on I get so anxious about what the reaction is going to be :x

[ SECRET POST #2301 ]

Fandom Anxiety

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