case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-05-04 03:14 pm

[ SECRET POST #2314 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2314 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 096 secrets from Secret Submission Post #331.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

*Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

(Anonymous) 2013-05-04 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I want to come out. But I'm scared that if I do come out I'll instantly regret it.

At the moment, the words are just on the tip of my tongue all the time. "Hi, Mum; Gran called about the arrangements for Thursday and I'm gay." "Speaking as a lesbian, are we out of milk?" "I don't like this show. Except for that character. I would sleep with her if she were gay too. And real. Because I'm a real person. And also gay."

But that doesn't seem like a good reason to risk breaking my parents' heart.

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

(Anonymous) 2013-05-04 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
How sure are you that it will break their hearts?

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

(Anonymous) 2013-05-04 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Honestly can't decide. Some days I think they'd be okay, other days I'm sure they wouldn't.

We're close and they're kind and loving. But they're also very religious and considerably older than most parents of people my age. My Dad, despite being the most generous person I know when dealing with people one-on-one, will happily describe himself as a homophobe when speaking in generalities. My Mum's a safer bet on her own account, but if Dad copes badly with it it will make her miserable. They're the world to each other.
dethtoll: (Default)

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

[personal profile] dethtoll 2013-05-04 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
If you must tell them, tell your mom first. I've had friends who only came out to one parent and kept the other in the dark.
inkdust: (Default)

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

[personal profile] inkdust 2013-05-04 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
This is a solid idea, if you feel like you can just try one of them first. Mine were similar - some days I felt encouraged that they'd be fine, and other days I didn't. When I finally did it, they weren't happy (I also waited until I was in a serious relationship, don't know if you are). But with some time, it's really gotten better.
inkmage: (Default)

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

[personal profile] inkmage 2013-05-04 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
First, your examples are hilarious.

More seriously, is there anyone you are out to? You might try practicing with them, getting them to pretend to be your mom (or whoever), and roleplaying a few different ways it could go. If nothing else, it might calm your nerves.

And of course, if you're really worried, bring someone else, meet in a neutral, possibly crowded area, etc., if you feel you need to.

Hope it works out, OP. I got lucky with my mom's reaction - maybe you will too.
dreemyweird: (Default)

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

[personal profile] dreemyweird 2013-05-04 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Nothing to say, but yes, your way of describing the situation is hilarious.

Still wish you luck!
republicanism: (Default)

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

[personal profile] republicanism 2013-05-04 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
i prefaced coming out to my parents with "this is good meat. i like meat." so you could do worse, really.
the entire idea of "the closet" is a stupid construct forcing sexual minorities to divulge their beeswax to everyone though so try not to feel too pressured about it, sweet homosexual anonymous.
caecilia: (rosejade)

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

[personal profile] caecilia 2013-05-04 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Speaking as a lesbian, are we out of milk?

Eheheh.

This is a lot like how I was right before I came out. I know this situation sucks to be in and I'm sorry I can't give better advice, but for me, I did it when it felt right. Keep rehearsing. Keep looking for the right moment. It'll happen, and I hope it goes well for you.
dimestoresaint: Benson and Stabler (Default)

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

[personal profile] dimestoresaint 2013-05-05 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
I feel the same way about telling my family I'm bisexual. I have no advice, but I hope it goes well for you when the time comes.

Re: *Telephone booth > Super Lesbian!!*

(Anonymous) 2013-05-05 07:22 am (UTC)(link)
The closest I can come is telling my grandparents [who are...very conservative, to say the least], but I sat them down told them, then explained to them the whole '1 in 10 are - and here's an organization that might help you understand/cope/have people to be around who know what you're going through if you feel like you need it'.

Also, bare in mind, the reason for the last bit is because they're in their 80's [were in their late 70's at the time, iirc] so it's not something they were raised to really be accepting of.

That said, the best advice I can give is a. Consider the people you're telling, and tailor it to them to try to avoid too bad a reaction [if they're so inclined] and b.don't have a girlfriend around when you do it! It shouldn't be an issue in an ideal world...but if they're hurt/upset then having someone else around is going to make it that much worse on them, and by extension you.