fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2319 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2319 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Slum Cat - Ernest Seton Thompson]

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[Mass Effect]

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[The Hunger Games]

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[Ib]

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[Family Guy]

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[The West Wing]

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[Labyrinth]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 016 secrets from Secret Submission Post #331.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( warning for suicide and generally confusing text )

So, I always thought myself to be a pessimist.
I'm not. At all. I see meaning in pretty much everything that happens, I love life and want to live and get better. And I don't think it's ever over. Life is beautiful.
Talking to , and builing up, a suicidal and generally extemely pessimistic friend just now made that clear.
The thing is, I don't think I want to be around those kind of people anymore, and him in particular. I feel as if he's clinging to me as the only thing that could possibly help him or keep him from killing himself. And I don't want that. Not right now. Not when I just got out myself. And I feel terrible because of that. I don't want to let anyone down. Or fail to be there when I could have changed everything.
Someone was there for me when I was feeling completely hopeless. And I want to be that person for other people, but I don't think I can be. And ,again, especially not for him. He pretty much constantly tells me how amazing and special and beautiful I am, how I'm the only one he could ever call. And that makes me really uncomfortable , on top of everything else.
I'm not special and I don't want to be. I'm just now learning how to live again. And that's hard for me. I still fight. Nothing is easy for me. I have to constantly work at myself ,too. Despite him telling me that I can do that because I'm strong unlike him , which I think is both wrong and unfair.
I feel pretty terrible right now for thinking all of that and feeling so trapped. I don't know what to do. I can't extricate myself from the situation or him because I do think he will kill himself if I try.
We've also known each other for more than ten years now, and I do value him as a friend. Or used to , before talking to him made me feel so incredibly bad and like I could win something for being the most horrible human being in existence...
Sorry for rambling and the tl:dr , I know this isn't broken people anonymous but I really don't know what to do or how to feel :(
I'm really shaken up right now. Feels like I'm going to panic again.
And I can't talk to anyone about that irl. Or non-anon, really.

Try and get him to accept some professional help - as in hospitalization - as fast as you can. If he's so far gone that you honestly believe he will kill himself without your support, he's not competent to be living on his own and needs to be kept safe.

Don't extricate yourself from the friendship right now if you really think he'll kill himself, but DON'T just let this go on. Talk to him, yell at him, threaten him, do anything to get him to realize how fucked up his situation is. Then hand him off to people who will make sure he won't kill himself, because that's not your long-term job.

This is good advice. I'm not sure I have anything useful to add but anon is right in that he needs help and him clinging to you and only you isn't healthy for anyone. It's good that it's kept him from committing suicide, but that kind of pressure is a lot for one person to handle. It sounds like he's going to need something more than you to get him through this.

I tried yelling/tough love and I got him to see a therapist , which is not enough you're right. But getting through to him on that front ist difficult. Doesn't help that we live in different citys . I don't know his family well, they're very estranged and I don't have any contact info.
But I really can't do this anymore.
Thank you both for replying though.

Perhaps this website can help you: https://www.imalive.org/
It's totally anonymous, so you won't have to worry. Maybe they can help you to cope and to find ways to help your friend. Maybe you can even link him to this website.

Good luck, OP. Hugs, if you want them.

Thank you!
I'll try to send him the link next time I'm talking to him.
He's incredibly resistant to seek help outside from calling me and going to therapy once a month.I don't know if he's even doing that or just telling me to keep me from bringing it up again.
I feel really overwhelmed and alone right now so hugs are appreciated :) thank you!

[ SECRET POST #2319 ]

Really need help

Re: Really need help

Re: Really need help

OP

Re: OP

Re: OP