fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2320 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2320 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01. [removed on request of author]

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05. [repeat]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ------ ]

08. [SPOILERS for Iron Man 3]

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09. [SPOILERS for Fire Emblem: Awakening]

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10. [SPOILERS for Superman (1978)]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ------ ]

11. [WARNING for rape and abuse]

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12. [SPOILERS for The Borgias]
[WARNING for incest]

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13. [WARNING for suicide]

[Gay Purr-ee]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #331.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - ships it ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My best friend just achieved something amazing that I'll never even come close to achieving (don't want to give details, but suffice it to say it's time-sensitive and I'm already far too late.) And I'm so full of jealousy and self-hatred that it isn't even funny. I don't know why I can't just be a good person and be happy for her. I even feel guilty for congratulating her, because I know it's nothing but a worthless lie. I'm horribly ashamed of how I feel. I can't tell anyone I know. I can't ever tell anyone, outside of anonymous strangers on the internet. And I wish I could just be happy that she's happy, instead of wishing she were down here with me, more scum in the sewer.

How can I act like I'm so glad she's achieved this thing, and secretly wish it were me? Is it two-faced? Is it petty? It's wrong, it feels so wrong, but it would be even more wrong to tell her how I feel. I'll never tell. I can't. She's the best friend I've ever had, why can't I stop being a stupid bitch even for her? I encouraged her! What's wrong with me?

Aaargh.

(Kudos if you know where the title comes from, by the way.)

Build a time-machine/become a time-wizard. Boom problem solved.

Serious answer: Maybe try to set apart an hour or so to do some hardcore introspection. Why do you feel this way? Like, really get to the very root of it, or roots, if it's more than one reason. Sometimes throwing rationality at the problem can help you calm down enough to accept your feelings and move on. Not eliminate the feelings, but just understand them, so you can forgive them and yourself. You're human, there's nothing wrong with feeling things.

Oh boy do I know this feel!

Use it as inspiration to work towards more acheivements for yourself, and appreciate that the disappointment you're feeling now is a useful and good feeling because it's what's going to urge you on. And remember that acheivements aren't sold on shelves, it's not like the store can sell out and have none left for you. She didn't snatch up the last and only significant acheivement that will ever be on offer. There will be other things in your life that you really really want. Go get them.

Are you me? Honestly, I'm just going through the same thing with my best friend.

I know what you mean. I've been feeling like this for all the little things that make my friend happy, as if it's seeping away at what I wish I had. And the fact that she's so happy doing other things and just talks to me about them, I feel like I'm worthless as a friend to her aside from an earpiece.

BUT.

I've been trying for the past few days to do a form of self-therapy, that when I catch myself thinking of all the bad things, ask myself what the good is. In your case, maybe stop yourself, remind yourself that it's irrational, and search for that one, tiny little thing that you can be proud of for yourself. Counter it every time. One positive for every negative. It won't feel like it makes a difference at first, but it will change your behavior over time.

I'm sorry you feel this way anon. :( I hate it too.

[ SECRET POST #2320 ]

Almost forgot this feeling of envy.

Re: Almost forgot this feeling of envy.

Re: Almost forgot this feeling of envy.

Re: Almost forgot this feeling of envy.

Re: Almost forgot this feeling of envy.