[ SECRET POST #2329 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2329 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 083 secrets from Secret Submission Post #333.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

After seven years, I hace finally decided to stop being friends with my best friend. The sad part is that I know she will not notice. We hardly speak anymore. Hell, half the time trying to get in touch with her is a hassle. Even when we are in talking, the conversation lasts 30 seconds before she hangs up.

I've tried talking to her about this. My other friend has done the same, but it goes through one ear and out the other. This has been a problem since the beginning of our friendship. I've always had to call, make plans to hang out. I've had to choose everything we do. Nowadays, we have almost nothing to talk about since we no longer share common interests.

I've tried to get into stuff she likes, but she ends up loosing interest in new fandoms after a few weeks. I started suggestion stuff, which I love or enjoy, that she might enjoy only for her to completely ignore my suggestions. Until, another friend forces her to watch it and she comes back asking me, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS SHOW/MOVIE? IT'S AWESOME!" In which, I usually tell her I did talk to her about it and provided places for her to watch the show. TO which she responds, 'Oh, then why didn't you keep bugging me about it?'

The thing the hurts the most is that it always has been a one sided friendship for the most part. I made the plans on where to go, what to do, and where to eat. then, she complained about staying in one place or always returning to same place. Even if I asked here where to go, she'd shrug and say anywhere else except *insert places*. Like sitting down and just talking wasn't any fun.

Though, I can't blame her for everything really. I let her get away with this behavior. I let her always take control of the conversation and talk about stuff that she liked. I knew the conversation would either be about fanfics she loved, her original story that she planned to write, or her parents.

A part of me knows that I kept her friendship since I had no other friends, at the time, to relate to. (Actually, at that time, I dropped a lot of bad friends that did me more harm than good) Now, I'm just tired of dealing with her radio silence all the time and aloofness.

I thought surprising her with a great joint gift that my other friend and I spent weeks planning would get through to her. To show her that we listened to her plight and get her to realize that there is more to the world than her problems and her internet. TO make her understand that we cared for her. Nope, her behavior stayed the same. She stopped talking to us once her birthday was over and hasn't contacted neither my friend and I for two weeks.

Now, I've finally decided to just give up. I've made friends that share interest with me. That go out of their way to call/text me and ask, 'Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything, okay? If you need me, I'll be hear to lend you a shoulder or listen' or 'Just wanted to say hi since I haven't seen/talked to you in a while.' Something she never did. People who are willing to make some time for me, and I for them, to get together and just be silly together. Even just sit some place and talk for a few hours about everything. (Hell, even if it's to talk for an hour)

A part of me doesn't want to stop being friends with her. We had plenty of
good times just being silly or making private jokes. We made silly promises that we didn't plan to keep. (Like no more ice cream or stop giggling about really bad yaoi fics) The rational part of me knows that letting her go is the best. It points out that my other friends treat me better than she ever did. I no longer have the time or patience to be consoling constantly her about her parent or problems when I have bigger problems to deal with.

Still, I feel fucking awful because I've just lost my best friend. Not to mention, I'm terrified that I'll never find another best friend.

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like you lost her a long time ago, you just weren't admitting it. And it also sounds like these other people are CLEARLY prime new best friend candidates. So shut your whining and go spend time with people who actually want to be around you.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I realized this after finishing whining last night that this is true. Oddly enough, I think after this whining I already have at least two best friend from that group, already. Which makes me an idiot for not noticing.

[chardmonster]

It sounds kind of like you weren't close to begin with.

I mean, go ahead and break ties if you want. But don't act like she did you wrong if you're the one building up the friendship as something it wasn't.

[(Anonymous)]

having been in the place of your friend: you are doing the right thing :(

okay i'm projecting here, but she likely didn't mean you any harm, she's just not ready for the commitment of having actual friends, for whatever reason