[ SECRET POST #2330 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2330 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 068 secrets from Secret Submission Post #333.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: mid-life anon still wants to change rides

[(Anonymous)]

OP here a bit late replying but thank you for your kind words and advice.

If I could hang on for a month, then I could see my way clear to sucking it up and getting on with getting on. I just cannot muster the motivation to face what looks to be my lot in life for the REST of my life (and then I may be too sick to enjoy it -- if I do not end up getting sick beforehand as so many around me have). Not for one month more, not one week more, Not. One. Day. More. I have hit the wall as far as that is concerned. But I cannot seem to convince my brain of otherwise. I don't WANT to be/feel this way is my issue.

IDEK. I will see what the dawn brings I suppose. Thanks to everyone for your responses, before, and now. :-(

Re: mid-life anon still wants to change rides

[enigmasphinx]

Thanks for responding, OP.

When recommending the 30 days, my thought was that you NOT look at it as some sort of prep for the rest of your life. That is too much. Take it one day at a time for those 30 days, stop thinking that you just need to suck this up.

You may very well need to leave the day to day drudgery behind. That may in fact be the right action for you. BUT not having any sense of control, any real plan, seems to bother you. A LOT. That is what makes this sound like some sort of manic episode, something outside your control and something deeply disturbing to your inner equilibrium. What I find troublesome about your post is that you are fighting the urge to just cut and run, to make a discerning choice and not a reactionary one. One day's effort to hang on to what you have and plan for what you need is a small price to ensure you are acting wisely to intolerable conditions and not reacting thoughtlessly to pressures that have built up over the past five years.

As a small self disclosure, I am closer to 50 than 40. I watched my mother's life end far too early from things that she could have controlled but didn't. I myself have gone back to college because, at this stage in my life, I can't bear the regrets I have from putting off my dreams to take care of everyone in my life. I totally get the drive to make changes, to fight what might just be genetic destiny, to do what I have always wanted to do.

Know that you can walk away when you need to but don't act rashly. Go to work for just one day. Find a RL confidante and get RL perspective. Feedback online, while helpfully meant, isn't a great replacement for sitting down and really talking this stuff out face to face.

Best of luck, whatever you choose. I truly wish you peace and happiness.