fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2340 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2340 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[DJ Qualls/Vanessa Lengies]

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[Resident Evil Revelations]

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[Teen Wolf]

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[Alice in Wonderland - Johnny Depp]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 016 secrets from Secret Submission Post #334.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Like I said above it's not so much about the chicken sandwiches as it is me telling her "this is something that really upsets me and here's why" and her saying "I don't care".

Maybe it's not really homophobia so much as not understanding bisexuality, true, but just because she claims to be okay with it doesn't mean she actually is. And now she's actually saying she will flip out if I bring a girl home because she "thinks it's what I want".

I'm not going to cut her out of my life but it is really annoying.

I understand--but the manner in which you're discussing why this matters so much to you has an impact on how people react. It sounds like you're screaming from your depiction--people are going to think you're being unreasonable when you do so, no matter how reasonable you actually are.

Honestly, you say she has lesbian friends--they may have told her something negative about bisexual girls. That's really common (you probably know that, though). It might also explain why she thinks of herself as enlightened and accepting of gay people while also not believing you about your own sexuality. A good chunk of the reason I never told people I was bi when I was younger was that I was convinced I'd look like I was just following the trend--that no woman who actually liked women would want me, and that my choices were guys and weird girls who like to make out at parties.

Can I ask how old you are, and how close you are to a position where you can move? This might be the sort of thing that mellows out once you aren't on top of each other anymore. There might also be a local lgbt group you can join. Not only could that provide you some support, but going regularly might "prove" that you're serious. The first is more important than the latter but hey, whatever works.

Edited 2013-05-31 06:43 (UTC)

I did scream a little, but the whole conversation wasn't screaming, and honestly it only got to that point because I was so frustrated that she wasn't paying attention to what I was saying.

That is a good point, and definitely possible. Her closest friend who is a lesbian doesn't believe in bisexuality--she's even told me that she believes gay and straight are the only options and that bisexuality is not real, so who knows what she's told my mom. She's also told my mom that in every gay relationship there is a "man" and a "woman". I didn't even get into my mom's thoughts on gender in the other posts, but she'll always make comments like that and I'll try to tell her that that's not the case and she's like "but Susan told me that and she's a lesbian so she knows!" She also thinks there's nothing wrong with calling a boy a "sissy" if he isn't into stereotypically "manly" things. It's just really, really frustrating.

The thing is, we're really not on top of each other. I'm in my 20s and living on my own, so it's not like she's still supporting me or anything. Aside from sexuality-related topics we're pretty close and see each other fairly often but I guess I should probably try to take some time away from her for awhile and see if things blow over a little.

That's a good idea about finding a group. I have no idea if such a thing exists here but it's a large enough city that it should, I would think. I'll have to look into it.

maybe if you find lesbian friends who aren't like susan and introduce them to your mom that will help?

[ SECRET POST #2340 ]

Re: Homophobic mom? Not sure what to do/need to rant

Re: Homophobic mom? Not sure what to do/need to rant

Re: Homophobic mom? Not sure what to do/need to rant

Re: Homophobic mom? Not sure what to do/need to rant