fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2354 ]

[ SECRET POST #2354 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2354 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Kodomo no Jikan]

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03.

[figure skating/Brian Joubert]

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04.

[Stargate: Atlantis/ Sesame Street]

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[K project]

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06.

[Teen Wolf]

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07.

[Married...With Children]

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08.

[Homestuck]

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09.

[One Piece]

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[Game of Thrones]

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[Pokémon Black & White]

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[Phantom of the Opera 2004]

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[Iron Man 3]

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[Neverwinter Nights 2]

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[Almost Human/Total Recall 2077]

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[Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer]

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[Fire Emblem: Awakening]

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[A Bag of Hammers]

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[Without a Trace]

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20.

[Big Bang Theory]

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21.

[The Three Investigators]

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22.

[Team Fortress 2]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #336.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My little bro is on his first year at Universidad de Chile, studying Law. He went to participate on the occupation of the main building fifteen minutes ago, will sleep there and have the ~Student Experience~ of Fighting the System.

I'm not less idealist than him, but having dropped out of uni, I can't participate on any of that stuff. The walks, yes, they're public - but not anything else. Truth to be told, even at the writing workshops I participate, I'm the only one younger than 30.

I miss having peers and I don't have any friends of my age. Everything makes me feel like I'm missing out for having been unable to hold on to uni. I don't have a job either, and I have no fucking clue of what should I do to get any RL friends. I'm too shy. And everything reminds me I should have clinged to my education. Hell, even Monsters University speaks of ~the wonders of Uni experience~ and I'm... I'm just getting older and lonelier. All the people of my age I know are /graduating/. If I were to go back, I'd be in the second year. And I know I wouldn't be able to handle going back. I'm too unstable for formal education.

I'm hitting 25 and I should be happier, with the workshops and all. If I didn't have this massive writer's block I would probably feel better about the whole ordeal. But even my mom, who initially supported my decision of working on becoming a professional writer, is now rubbing in my nose the fact that I don't have a career nor a job. I just-- I feel useless, and lonely, and I will probably end up flipping burgers until I'm forty if I don't manage to finish any of my novels.

I don't want to live off my mom forever, I guess. And I feel really old.

Edited 2013-06-14 03:02 (UTC)

it sounds like the problem is the lack of an emotional support system, rather than your specific decisions

sorry :(

Thank you, kind Anon :(

i don't really have any specific advice, except to maybe reach out to more hobby groups, book clubs, or other writing based things and see if you can meet some people there your own age?

this is one of the biggest problems i face, too, because most people create lasting support networks throughout the public school system up through university, and it's really the one series of unique environments that does group you together in an open environment with people of the same age

and it really is tough to go out and find these pockets of people outside of that environment - tough, but not impossible

i think the first step is just in starting small, or maybe reaching out to social networking sites, and hopefully drawing something from what relationships you do have, digital or not and maybe finding some kind of work that you do enjoy that brings in some money for you but doesn't drain your creative endeavors

that probably doesn't help, but all i can personally attest to is that it's important to keep trying and trying to move forward, because the more you get pulled under the harder it is to break out of the cycle

i really hope things look up for you soon, and no matter what you do, keep writing :)

I think I'll try what you're advising. Sorry to hear you're going through this too, Nonny, and I hope things look up for you.

Sadly, almost all my relationships are digital. And I kind of need something IRL now. Not because my internet friends aren't awesome! But being able to go out and have fun on the outside world... I really miss that. I've been thinking on what part-time job I could take. My therapy sessions are three times a week and on the middle of the afternoon, and so are my writing workshops. It's as if things had been designed to keep me enclosed on this small space of a life.

Thank you for your kind words and good wishes. I'll do my best <3

Much as I hate to say this... yeah, having people around you helps immeasurably. I'm in the same boat *hugs*

Hang in there, Nonny. I hope things get better for you too <3 *hugs*

I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to say I feel you and I hope things work out.

Thank you, Anon <3 It's really appreciated.

Could you possibly try going back and being part time? That way you don't have a stress of a full load, but are still getting an education/around people in your age group?

I mean, I know you said you're too unstable but...I'm not sure if you mean/what resources you had available to you. If you didn't look into resources, would you be willing to?

Even if you can't do the formal/traditional thing...maybe you could try checking out something like coursera? You don't get graded or whatever, but you still learn and interact with people from a bunch of age groups including your's. [And, while online buddies may not be as good as offline ones...at least it's something? IDK]

I've been thinking on going back to university with just a few courses, but I really fear I will not be able to make it. Whenever I get stressed I get so blocked I can't function, start with the insomnia again and am generally... well, shaky and non-productive. When I say "I'm too unstable", I'm speaking about my mental state.

What is "coursera"?

Well, things that helped me with getting friends after moving to a place where I knew no-one:

- getting a job (callcentre bleh, but a lot of my coworkers are a real cool peeps. We talk games and things! Makes up for the job being shit. Also money is good.)
- Joined some hobby clubs - found a sci fi club! have yet to find a good art club. They're all too...artsy hahaha
- found clubs through meetup.com
- this was kinda accidental, but I met some cool *FRIENDS* through okcupid and I'm meeting more friends through them as they kinda brought me into their friend group?
- I've met other new friends from okcupid as well (of all places, weird I know)

It has taken like 3 years to get a stable friendship base and it really only developed in past year and a bit:( Gonna shake it up soon with a new job (scary) But these are just some suggestions

Thank you for the advice, Anon. I will think about everything you said. I don't know of any hobby clubs on my city (or people from OK Cupid, ahaha), but there surely must be somewhere, right?

I think I really should look up on getting a job...

I'm glad you're better off now. I wish you the best of lucks with your new job!

Hi hon,

I just wanted to tell you that you can always message me if you need someone to talk to.

Also, if you want to study you could try doing it online? Or possibly part time? There are people at my university (even in my class) that are over 30 so it is never to late.

If you have other interests, you could try joining groups for that? Or do some volunteer work, then you might meet someone your age?

And you should remember that your education does not define you, you do not have to go to Uni to be a worthy member of society!

Hey, honey <3

Thank you for the offering! I really need to remember I'm not alone here. It's kind of hard to straight out send a message, I shall confess I had drilled on me for the longest time that I "would bother other people and interrupting their time with my stuff". I'm working on getting better at that, but it's the way I was brought up :( I had also drilled in me that, indeed, education does define me. I'm trying hard to shift that paradigm, but...

I will look onto what you're saying, at least on joining a group. Thank you for the advice <333

Do you have technical schools near you? You could learn a trade (electrician, mechanical stuff, carpentry, sewing [corte y confección?], cooking idk)

it's not the same as a more "standard" university education, since you're looking at clear goals AND you're coming out with skills you can put right away to use, and also it's cheaper

you might turn out to be super awesomely good at something you weren't even considering, and you can keep writing as a hobby (from your previous posts, your taller de escritura sounds kinda shitty tbh, sorry [as in, "you're a ridiculously better writer than them and you're wasting your time with them" kind of shitty, I mean]) in your spare time

We have technical schools nearby. Maybe I should try to think of a trade I'd like to learn. (Yes, it's "corte y confección", where are you from? :D)

Thanks for the advice. I will really consider what you said. The workshops aren't THAT bad, I'm just... discouraged right now with them, and I feel like I'm not really learning. The three of them have very different styles and often one contradicts the others.

Edited 2013-06-15 02:24 (UTC)

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[ SECRET POST #2354 ]

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