fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2355 ]

[ SECRET POST #2355 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2355 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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03. [repeat]

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[dangan ronpa]

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[Star Trek: Into Darkness]

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(Les Miserables, The House of Spirits)

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(The Scarlet Pimpernel)

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[Coupling]

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[Norma Bates from Bates Motel]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

31. [SPOILERS for Naruto]

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32. [SPOILERS for Defiance, Episode 7]

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33. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]

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34. [repeat]

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35. [SPOILERS for OFF]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

36. [WARNING for rape]

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37. [WARNING for sexual abuse]

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38. [WARNING for rape]

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39. [WARNING for self harm, suicide]

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40. [WARNING for suicide]

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41. [WARNING for RL shootings, death]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #336.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Today a coworker asked if I wished my siblings were real siblings?! (over half are adopted) I was too flabbergasted to respond and she changed the topic when I stayed quiet

But what the hell they are my real siblings! We've grown together, played, fought, had arguments, cried, screamed, conspired etc etc they're not any less real just cause we don't have an immediate blood relation?!

:/ I better not get any if this shit if I get a kid in the future. It's always been my intention to adopt or foster and fuckit they will be my kids blood relation or not

Some people are dumbasses, anon.

Nothing you can do about it.

Just so unexpected!

wtf indeed. Who the hell says stuff like that? Like I'd assume some dumber people may think it but to actually come out and ask you? What the fuck.

I have a lot of adopted cousins and they are all family. They're not part-time cousins or half cousins or only sort of family. I actually kind of feel sad for people who think the only family that matters is family by birth/blood. They're missing out on so much.

op

that's basically my reaction, I was just so O_O that someone would think AND THEN ASK that. I'm only getting upset now because I was so baffled earlier.

That's...unusually nosy.

She's a very gossipy person but not usually so nosey. Like, she talks AT you a lot of the time but doesn't usually ask things? I got use to just tunning her out O_O

I'm adopted but I usually don't tell anyone unless I absolutely have to because people always ask about my "real" family. Uh, you mean my biological family that I know nothing about because my real family has cared for and supported me since I was 6 months old? Yeah, I don't know anything about those people. But my real mom made me chocolate chip cookies on the first day of school every year. My real dad taught me how to drive and then grounded me when I drove the car into a guardrail but still came to my graduation two years later and walked me down the aisle at my wedding. My real brother was my best friend and tormentor as we grew up and these days I can call him when the world feels like a little too much for me and he'll make me cry reminding me of the time we snuck out of the house at 2 in the morning to go sledding because we couldn't sleep thinking about how the other kids would ruin our snow by the time our mom would be able to take us the next day.

Teal dear: biological family =/= real family

This is awesome. I'm curious, who would you absolutely have to tell that you're adopted?

I told my husband when we started getting serious. I felt he needed to be aware early on that I don't know anything about my genetic background and have no idea if I'm likely to pass on any hereditary diseases to our biological children if we have any.

I also tell doctors because it's relevant that I know nothing about my biological parents' medical and family histories. But they usually take that to mean "No" to all the questions like, "Is there a history of cancer in your family?" Which isn't the same thing at all, but that's a rant for another day.

That seems pretty much like all the people that'd need to know.

Reading posts like this make me wish I wasn't an only child. You're brother sounds awesome anon.

Agreed >:( Family is the one that acts like a family, biological relations not necessary!

(aaaw that sledding story. Haha, we do such weird things when kids XD But it makes sense at the time...and now)

Awww. I enjoyed reading that. I'm not biologically related to the family on my mother's side (my mom was adopted), but I also don't consider them any less of a real family than my father's side.

Your coworker is an idiot and I'm sorry you have to deal with them. It's startling how rude some people can be.

What was going through her head, just what the hell lady.

As an adopted person let's just say I'm really not surprised by that question at all. I find what works best for me is to say, "They aren't my real siblings? When did that happen? What do you know about my family?! Who sent you?!"

They either realize they're being an asshole or they try to explain themselves. If they try to explain themselves you need to explain to them (nicely!) that you wish they would shut up because they're a dildocorn doucheface.

Seriously though, it never really bothered me as a kid because my parents were always very honest with me. I always knew I was adopted and my parents made it very clear that they didn't love me despite the fact I was adopted but because I was adopted. They made a big deal about the fact that they got to choose me while other families didn't have that option. So, you know, if you've got an adopted kid just be cool like my parents I guess.

Also, when you adopt a kid it is always the funniest fucking thing when people say they "can see the family resemblance". When I was younger and didn't realize it was rude I would immediately inform them I was adopted after they said that. The looks on their faces was priceless. Priceless.

So yeah, hope everything works out with your coworker.

I hope she got it from my stunned silence, but if she does ask again I am going to make a (workplace appropriate) fuss >:C

It's very obvious with us who is adopted versus not (all over the world!), granted some people honestly think my mother had a forbidden relationship with *insert ethnicity of sibling here* but I love showing off my baby sister hahaha. I dont' mind people going "sooo she's adopted then?" but acting like I love her (and others) because they are is not on >:[

I don't like her much, but this was really unexpected! >:C I will totally skype siblings later and let them know I still love them in all their (annoying) sibling glory.

Good for you.

I get you. There's a huge difference between natural curiosity and icky curiosity laced with judgment.

Eh, it's happened enough to me it doesn't faze me anymore but maybe where you are people are less bold to talk about it? Anyway, aw, that sounds sweet. :3

Re: Wtf

(Anonymous) - 2013-06-15 06:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Wtf

forgottenjester - 2013-06-15 21:49 (UTC) - Expand

Fellow adoptee high-5!

Word to the parents explaining from the beginning, and also loving me *because* I'm adopted. Every so often I mention I'm adopted, and get the "Oh, so who are your real parents?" and my response is "Well, my *real* parents are [my mom and dad's names], but you meant my birth parents, right? No clue."

And I hear you on the family resemblance. I've had people *swear* that I look just like my mom or my dad (oddly, nearly always followed by "but not at all like [the other parent]"), and then the awkward pause when I mention I'm adopted is always hilarious. Although I don't really see how it's rude to respond with "actually, I'm adopted." It's the truth, isn't it?

Yeah, I do get the same and have the general same response.

Ah, well, my mom said it was rude because it's like an abrupt thing to say when someone's trying to compliment you. It makes them feel like they messed up and awkward like they maybe might have offended you or something. I generally just accept it now and might later casually mention it so they don't feel like I lied to them or something. But I mean, hey, if it works for you it works for you. I'm not gonna stop you.

Your coworker sounds like a moron who didn't think before they spoke. Sorry they were such a dumbass to you anon.

they are! But it doesn't help with the !! D: feelings. urgh it's made me all grumpy sorry :(

No don't say sorry! If someone said that to me, I would be grumpy too.

I know how you feel. I'm not officially adopted but my dad isn't biologically related to me. Sometimes that fact will come up and people are like "oh, what about your REAL dad?" Oh, you mean the douchebag I haven't seen in over a decade? The guy who wasn't there to meet my first boyfriend, or teach me to drive, or help me with my math homework? The things my REAL dad did? You mean that guy? Yeah, I believe the term is "sperm donor".

Ugh. Sorry for the tangent, but yes. Your coworker's an idiot and I'm sorry you had to listen to that crap.

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