[ SECRET POST #2366 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2366 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 059 secrets from Secret Submission Post #337.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[spiced_wine]

I don't see anything wrong with this, unless you feel you're addicted to writing to the extent that you literally refuse to do anything else. People used to call me a 'compulsive writer' when I was young - although no-one had to drag me screaming away from my writing - it was just that I would so often be head down scribbling or typing in my spare time. Now, I can't imagine not thinking of writing, but of course, I got older, had to work, so couldn't do it all the time, and there were relationships too. I came to look on the times I was free to write as treats. (My favourite time was after work, when I was home, washed the work day away, and would sit with a glass of wine and just write for a couple of hours).

If you want to be a novelist all writing is beneficial. I think it's great that you're so passionate about it, unless you're truly and seriously worried that it's an issue.

[lyndis]

Late comment, but I agree with this. I always think of writing. And for me, it's just fanfiction. It has mostly been fanfiction.

I started writing when I was 16 and fanfiction got me into the game. After eleven years, I have to admit that original fiction has never really had a grasp on me. I've written a few things, have had a few (uninteresting) ideas.

But for me, I want to teach, not write for a living. Novels might be fun but it's not a desperate, overarching dream for me. I just want to write fanfiction--it's a major hobby of mine, and yeah, I love the attention (as little as there is, sometimes) and telling a story, and since I taught myself to write, uhhhhh the practice has put me ten million steps ahead of everyone I've met in the last year in college. It blew my mind. I thought I would be a writing noob compared to people fresh out of high school, but no. I'm being asked to proof-read their papers and they actually appreciate it.

(I never fix anything, but I tell them what needs fixed and why.)

When I worked demanding hours on an assembly line (I had to wake up at 4:30am, my shift started at 6:30, and I had an hour commute), I had to crack down on my sleep schedule.

I wouldn't say it's necessarily compulsive behavior so much as it's laziness/stubborness. At least, on my part it definitely was! "I would rather do this than sleep." I have a hard time accepting sleep as a "thing" sometimes because it feels like SUCH a waste of time when there are better things to do, or things that are more fun.

That said, when I started arriving to work but I could barely remember the drive there, well, I made myself follow a better schedule. It wasn't easy because, by nature, I am a night person, and I prefer the silence (during the day or at night) to noise, and my best writing is done when I am completely alone, which sometimes only happens at night.

Things you can do to get yourself on track (things I did myself to get there):

1.) Set a damn bedtime. AND STICK TO IT.
2.) Caffeine can stay in your body for I think 7 hours. If your bedtime is midnight, make sure you give it 7-8 hours beforehand to stop drinking anything with caffeine in it--tea, coffee, soda! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU THINK CAFFEINE DOESN'T AFFECT YOU BECAUSE IT DOES. (It particularly has an effect when you WANT to stay up because your MIND is busy. TRUST ME. Cut the caffeine early enough and it IS easier to get your ass in bed.
3.) This worked well for me, too: find a show like 30Rock or some other 30 minute show, and go to bed a half hour early, watch an episode a night on a laptop. After that tiny bit of TV, it's bedtime. Make yourself turn it off and go to sleep. Sometimes it's hard. If it's a problem (and you're the type to marathon shows) don't try it. I'm a major multitasker so I HAAAAAAAAAATE the idea of watching TV and doing nothing else. But in the dark on a laptop with my cats crawling all over me I have nothing else to do but watch it.
4.) Get notebooks. When I worked the assembly line, I kept one near me. If I got a great idea, I worked my ass off to get ahead, pulled a pen out of my shirt pocket, and wrote my idea down in some horrid chickenscratch that I may or may not have been able to read later. Notebooks. I had one or two or three in my work bag. I had one on my desk. One next to my bed. Just keep them around. I've found if I get a great idea (for an existing fic or a new one), I forget it VERY QUICKLY unless I write it down. And if I don't write it down, I think about it almost obsessively because I'm afraid I'll lose the idea.

So basically:
-stop drinking caffeine early
-set a bedtime for yourself so that you get good sleep
-think about 'fic all you like but MAKE yourself go to bed at a good time.
-Try telling yourself (though it doesn't always work): "I'm an adult. I have work tomorrow. Fanfiction is fun but I can write more after work tomorrow and maybe I'll have BETTER ideas to use tomorrow!"
-Pay attention to your body.
-Allow yourself some freedoms. I oftentimes stay up a little later (or late as hell) if I know I don't have to get up early the next day.

It takes a lot of willpower--I won't lie. Fanfiction is great practice and feels more rewarding because you get instant gratification (or close to it) via reviews/kudos/et cetera. This doesn't make fanfiction bad. I have NO intent of becoming a published author or writing lots of novels...but at the end of the day, all that writing has made me a well-respected person by both my peers in school (all ten years my junior and most WAY behind me in skill level) and my professors (who all let me use them as recommendations for tutoring positions). My major is English education (so I can teach my love of writing/the written word) and I fully FULLY intend to never, ever put down fanfiction in my teaching career.

I went through some really terrible years in my life and sometimes I felt like I wanted to die. Having something to look forward to was the only thing that kept me going sometimes. And I know that sounds stupid, because "lol fanfiction lol" but seriously. Fanfiction has only ever done me good.

Despite that, I recognize that sometimes you have to set boundaries and structure things yourself. I feel like as kids we're taught that being an adult is glamorous because we get to decide when to sleep/etc, but in reality that is not the case. We need structure in our lives just like children do, maybe even more so, because the older you get, the harder it becomes to break habits.

So OP, sit back and look at the situation you're in. Is it affecting your life because you're not going to bed early enough and you drink too much caffeine and you get excited about writing fanfiction? Or is it because of something else?

When I get excited about shit, I GET PUMPED. I can't stop thinking about it. But sometimes you have to let go if you can--just for a time.

I mean, even when I didn't get more than three hours of sleep, I would set four alarms and always get up for work, was never late to work (you couldn't be literally a second late with clock-in or you were docked days, and you only got a few days a year). Back then I was still younger and hadn't hit all of my health problems so I was energetic even on just a few hours of sleep and would come home, get changed, work around the house and then write 'fic for hours and hours. (I can literally write for hours and not notice time passing. Writing 10k words in a day is NBD.)

Anyway! I'll shut up. (sorry spiced_wine. I just liked your comment enough to add to it!)

tl;dr: fanfiction is fun, it's easy to have a mild addiction to it, but is your problem mild or serious? That's something you have to evaluate. Are you letting it interfere with your worklife, for example (by not sleeping early enough, by only setting one alarm and sleeping through it) or is it something literally out of your control?

If the latter, you need help. If the former, or if you can't afford help, taking steps to help yourself (small steps at a time) will still do some good, I think.