Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-06-27 07:00 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-06-27 07:00 pm
[ SECRET POST #2368 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2368 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #337.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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It's especially true for fanlove, imo. They've given you what you needed, and you've used it to become strong enough to move on from them.
(less prosaically, the fandom NRE has burned through and now you are moving toward loving them as a fandom old-love, something warm and companionate that can underlie your new passions. Feelings and relationships are meant to change over time, otherwise there would never be space for learning anything new or meeting anyone else. Roll with it.)
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(OP: Changes in musical tastes are natural! It's okay. You don't owe them any kind of lifelong devotion, and you can't erase their impact on you by expanding your horizons. Heck, start with bands MCR says they like.)
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(Anonymous) 2013-06-27 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
You can claim that they "saved your life", now, but you might grow up and realize that wasn't actually true.
I personally don't believe in any kind of medium changing a person's life, because on some end, that was your own decision because you weren't satisfied with the direction you were going. So it was actually YOU who changed your life.
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My Chemical Romance changed my life. Yes, I know. Like very other fan in the fan base. But I don't say this lightly. I've met some of my best friends. They got me into art. They've changed my whole perspective on art and on the world and on people and on music and on life. I can't picture who I'd be today if I hadn't discovered them.
But recently, I haven't thinking about them how I used to. I listen to other music. I don't feel like constantly listening to them all the time, and sometimes I feel like that doesn't make me a fan. That that means that I love them less.
When I listen to them, I feel happy and safe. I love it, I honestly do. But when I don't feel like listening to them, there's always something nagging at me that is thinking "What if I don't love them like I used to?" And that scares me. Because they changed my life. I don't want them to be out of mine. I don't want to not love them.
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(Anonymous) 2013-06-28 01:16 am (UTC)(link)just because you no longer like them 24/7 doesn't suddenly invalidate all the good things the music brought you and all the feelings you had and all the experiences and people you went through and met
even if you, GASP, no longer liked the music, it also wouldn't invalidate all previous things
seriously, OP, life is full of change; clinging to the old after it's no longer useful just to have any meaning never leads to anything good
you make your own meaning
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(Anonymous) 2013-06-28 06:37 am (UTC)(link)When I was that age, I had a favourite band, too, and when I felt a little bit sad, I could listen to them and the music would reflect my emotions perfectly and because you're that age, everything feels like fucking life or death so naturally I felt like their music pulled me back from possible suicidal tendencies (this is not to say that others don't have genuine suicidal tendencies that music helps them avoid acting on, this was just how I was as a kid). As a teenager you just feel everything viscerally, more viscerally than at any later point in your lifetime.
It's important to feel that and go through that, and be a little bit melodramatic, and most importantly, be passionate about things. When I was 13-16, I wouldn't just be a fan of things - I'd be obsessed. Everything would alter my life, everything I got into was a dramatic change in my personality (or at least it felt that way, looking back on it, I just liked something new).
And realizing I no longer loved an old favourite of mine, who I'd LOVED SO MUCH before, was like breaking up with somebody I'd gotten married to. It felt like I had cheated on them, with all my new favourites and interests. But guess what? You fall out of love with stuff. Then you fall back into love with it, or you don't, and move on, and continue loving new stuff, and looking back on your old favourite music as just that period of time when you were passionate about them.
It's okay to not like something so much any more. You're no less of a fan if you don't listen to something 24/7 for the rest of your goddamn life. In fact, you'd probably be considered quite weird if you did that. So chill. Live your life, loving what you love. It's all fine. You don't have to be so invested to be considered a real fan.
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(Anonymous) 2013-06-28 10:46 am (UTC)(link)