[ SECRET POST #2370 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2370 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 105 secrets from Secret Submission Post #339.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Help me stop resenting my mother

[mondat]

Could you maybe be so kind as to explain what you mean by saying "co-addicts"?
Like we all need her to suffer so it's basically a viscous circle?

I am by no means a person who has a very good knowledge about co-addiction - I also do not have any experience regarding it - I can only tell you what I heard. Might be I am wrong and there´s a person who knows more about it. Might be what I am saying doesn´t make any sense.
I compared your situation with co-addiction because co-addicts develop an unhealthy relationship to the addict, they are willing to suffer, or they want to control and help the addict etc.

For example: father gets drunk and screams around, beats the daughter up. But daughter wants to be loved and is willing to endure it because it´s her father. She wants to be the one, no she thinks she is the one who can help her father to fight his alcoholism.

You as a child have the need to "give your mother something back", like...you owe her something. "She is my mother". You love her.
You were a difficult teenager and you think you should respect her decision to not take meds because she was there for you back then. You want to help her.

BUT
She has the problem.
She should take medicine.
She probably knows that if she took medicine, it would get better.
She makes YOU ALL suffer.
She's the one saying hurtful things.
It is her responsibility. She is an adult with a family who "destroys" your family peace with her behaviour.
Religious beliefs, ok - but what about her own children or her husband?

That's my personal opinion, but I do not think that "excusing" behaviour like hers is helping actually.
You won't help a fat person when you continue to say "no, you aren't fat and you don't eat much".
You won't help a person with an alcohol problem when you continue to say "no, you don't drink much and I don't mind your smell".
You won't help a writer when you continue to say "no, everything you write is beautiful I have nothing to complain".
You won't help a person with a mental illness when you continue to say "no, I don't mind if you threat me wrong."

Anyway, I don't want to assume wrong things OP. I don't know you.
A professional can help you. Good luck.