fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2392 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2392 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Pretty much the only thing I have to keep me going is the potential shame of having failed to finish (if I don't get it it will always be assumed I wasn't smart enough or got lazy, not that my interests changed or I realized I didn't want an academic job) and the knowledge that spending my twenties in graduate school only looks good to people who want to hire academics.

I wish I had done anything else.

Edited 2013-07-22 01:02 (UTC)

It's never too late to jump out. I quit my Ph.D. track when I came to the conclusion that I hated academic circles, had no real interest in my field of study, and had ended up doing the Ph.D. only because no other jobs were available back then (and the only thing I had left was writing my dissertation). That was years ago, and I've never regretted it or cared what other people have assumed.

So many other people are doing their Ph.D's just because there's nothing else available, that the whole thing has suffered from devaluation. If anything, the reaction from your fellow students might be "hey, you managed to get a real job, go you".

Honestly, it isn't my fellow students I don't want to let down. It's my family, then anyone who'd ever ask what I've been doing the past few years. Add to it the fact that I'm ABD, so it really WOULD look like I failed to finish a dissertation rather than just stopped liking it.

If I manage to finish my dissertation, then get a good job doing something else, family just figures I changed my mind. The job market is tough and all that. I get a good job and don't finish my dissertation? Then I probably got lazy, but at least I was proactive about it. If I quit my program without a good job or an acceptance into another kind of grad program? Then I'm just lazy. They'll always see me as the kid who got everything on a silver platter and then failed because it got hard.

I realize you'll likely say "fuck them, they don't matter," but they do. I love them and they've helped me out a lot. They also tend not to change their opinions much once made. I've made great strides since high school but they still see me as a messed up teenager. This is probably one of the only ways I can really make them proud in a lasting way--they will always love me, and they'll always say they're proud of me on account of that love, but I'd like them to be actually proud of me. They know I was always good at school because school comes easy to me. Finishing my phD would be an actual accomplishment.

Pretty much my only out without looking lazy is law school. I've actually been considering that on my own without pressure but that's a whole lot of debt for not much better job prospects.

Edited 2013-07-22 20:15 (UTC)

Pretty much my only out without looking lazy is law school. I've actually been considering that on my own without pressure but that's a whole lot of debt for not much better job prospects.

DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT even think about going to law school unless you realio trulio want to become a lawyer and do lawyery things. You'd be better off finishing your PhD in terms of job security.

[ SECRET POST #2392 ]

You're lucky then.

Re: You're lucky then.

Re: You're lucky then.

Re: You're lucky then.