fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2395 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2395 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Most Popular Girls in School]

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03.

[Welcome to Night Vale]

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04.

[Gerard Way and Frank Iero]

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05.

[Mastumoto Jun]

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06.

[Macdonald Hall]

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07.

[Downton Abbey]

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08.

[Generator Rex]

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09.

[Neil Oliver]

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10.

[Star Trek]

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11.

[Star Trek: TNG]

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12.

[The Vampire Diaries]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 025 secrets from Secret Submission Post #342.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You keep going on about the money part. For some people, it really is NOT that important, and you are talking as though it is personally important to you that other people care about money as much as you do...

Money is survival, though. It's important in the same way that having access to clean water and oxygen is important. If you're earning zero money then how are you going to ensure there is money? It has to come from somewhere - it's not like it ceases to exist if you say it's 'not important'. It's also a huge constraint on the spouse, who suddenly CAN'T do anything that might jeopardise their ability to create a steady income. With two incomes, you can both take risks and bail from an unhappy job if you have to; not so if you have an SAH spouse.

Exactly. As someone who has now been surviving on very little for over a year, I see how vital it is. I mean sure, if you're really rich by birth it's different - but how many people can say that?

There's a difference between wanting to make enough to live, and being "ambitious" to the point where making lots of extra money is a priority.

You're not talking about someone wanting to merely make enough to live, you're talking about wanting to make zero. Where does the money that they, and quite possibly their kids, live on come from? That is pretty damn important.

How much money is 'enough'? The median US household income is about $45k, which is pitifully little to raise a family on in most areas, and of course many of those households have two earners. It's funny that you're taking the SAH ideal as a reason to defend the 'unambitious' when the reality is that you have to be married to a way above-average, 'ambitious' wage earner to even consider doing it. Having an SAH spouse is a huge luxury. But that goes for a lot of life choices, I guess - people only ever say 'money is unimportant' if they have tons of it.

I guess I was just responding to the money thing in general - it seems like some people place making a ton of money VERY high on their priority scale, and it's not, for everyone.

people only ever say 'money is unimportant' if they have tons of it.

Who said "money is unimportant"? There are levels of priorities; there's relative importance, and something can still be important while not being *as* important as something else.

I guess my point is: you don't have to want to make lots of money.

Well, you have to survive, though. I wish money wasn't that important, but as someone who now needs to make due with a lot less than I used to: it is. There's a difference between not being rich, which I don't need to be, and literally having one euro in your wallet when the month isn't yet over.

If something happens to your marriage as a sahp, you basically go to zero income. Even if you do not "care about money", that will hurt. I live in a country with a good social safety net, and yet still the amount of single parents who live in poverty is staggering.

Honestly, I feel like people who say they do not care about money must always had at least SOME of it, because he reality of scraping by is insanely hard.

The thing is, most people base their major life decisions on what their current needs are, not on possible future worst-case scenarios. Deciding to pursue a career you dislike instead of doing what inspires and satisfies you simply because of the possibility that your now-happy marriage might die someday is kind of like refusing to pursue a career that involves a lot of physical activity because one day you might have a disabling accident. Yes, it happens to people and they can end up in dire straits because of it, but is that a good reason to turn down the chance to do what you want and have the means to afford because of the fear of something that may never happen?

It also doesn't address your comments on ambition and passion. There are more kinds of ambition than the ones that make you money.

Uh this whole thread was basically about 'yeah but what's your plan B?' People who do physical jobs also need a plan B - in many cases, they aim to make enough money and connections during a relatively short career to transition to a different, less physically demanding career later. No one has yet offered an equivalent for the 50% of SAHs whose marriages will end in divorce.

People who do physical jobs also need a plan B - in many cases, they aim to make enough money and connections during a relatively short career to transition to a different, less physically demanding career later.

Really? My boyfriend's father just turned fifty, and as far as I know he doesn't have a "plan B" for his career in construction. I don't think he's that atypical; that's why disability insurance exists.

Yeah that is sadly true, though wise people try. More construction workers than first marriages make it to 50 years old, though, and you don't earn unemployment or social security credits for being an SAH.

[ SECRET POST #2395 ]

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