I understand what you're saying. Snape didn't care about Harry. But you still don't understand his character. I'm not denying that he was damaged; he was severely damaged and wrong in most of his choices in life, especially when he joined the DE. However, you are assuming that he is capable of a healthy relationship at that age - that he was simply being selfish. He *was* being selfish, but there was a reason for that. His home life, childhood, and teenage years created a person who had nothing. He thought he owned Lily because she offered him friendship and affection. These were two things he probably never received as a child. And any child psychologist will tell you how terribly important it is for a baby to be shown affection. He was clinging on to the only person who was offering that to him. Given his past, I can easily see why he would have felt he had to do that. I'm not saying his relationship with Lily was romantic and sweet and healthy. It wasn't. It was tragic. But not because he was an asshole. He was just a poor kid who was misled by everyone in his life. He didn't know up from down or right from wrong. He was just thinking of himself in order to survive. Is that right? Is that brave? Of course not. But it isn't shameful. It's sad and horribly tragic.