fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2405 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2405 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Would you still be friends with someone if you found out they think you're ugly? Imagine that, in this situation, both of you have compatible sexualities, but you're not interested in this friend in that way.

This isn't happening to me... just asking.....

Yeah that don't matter to me. I'm sure at least some of my friends think that

Yes. I honestly can't even begin to imagine how or why physical attraction would matter even a little in a friendship. Nor why compatible sexualities would factor in.

Is OP asking about attraction though? You can think someone is good looking or pleasantly plain without finding them attractive. Ugly is kind of a hard word if OP just means the friend isn't attracted to them physically.

It'd depend on the context in which it was said and how you found out?

On one hand, thinking that a friend doesn't match one's idea of what good-looking is seems pretty irrelevant if you're not interested in each other that way anyway.

On the other hand, when you see the face of somebody you care about doesn't the happy rush of good endorphins usually mean that they become pleasant to look at to you? I don't think I could describe any of my friends as ugly to me, because physically seeing them makes me happy.

If I knew they didn't think less of me because of it, then sure. I might be a little hurt at first, but I'd get over it.

If your friendship is so shallow as to be dependent on looks then that friend is better off without you. Sounds liked a classic case of nice guy-itis here.

Depends. Do they keep it to themselves or constantly talk about your looks/make fun of you and shit like that? If the latter, then yeah, it's be harder to stay friends with someone like that.

This. No one needs to find me attractive but if they're rude about it that's unacceptable.

Why would that matter? I honestly don't understand.

No, if it is only how I look, why would I?

They are hopefully friends with me because they like me...

Depends on how I found out, why I found out and how it was worded.

Like...if I found out they were really bashing my looks behind my back? Yeah - but also because of the, you know, bashing me behind my back part.

If it were something like we were ended up talking about it somehow [weird conversations happen] and it was more 'Yeah, the way you look isn't really my thing'/not offensively worded? Then I'd be perfectly okay with it. If it was offensively worded...I wouldn't end the friendship, but I'd probably feel a bit hurt. -shrugs-

I would maybe feel a little awkward but it wouldn't end a friendship for me. I can't recall thinking any of my friends were ugly but maybe I just coincidentally have a bunch of good looking friends.

Idk, I think most people don't really focus on looks unless they've never met the person before/they dislike the person for whatever reason. At least, that's the way it's always seemed to work to me. -shrugs-

I dunno, depends how close they were? Like a casual friend or acquaintance friend I may drop like a hot brick.

A closer friend, I may feel a bit hurt but eh... if I'm not interested them fair enough. I have a few friends myself, 'compatible sexualities' but I find them very physically unappealing

My biggest judgement would be that they told me/talked about it and it got back to me :/

Not immediately. But as time went on, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. Every time I hung out with them I'd be thinking "Man, are they looking at my face? Are they thinking about how ugly I am right now? Maybe I should put a bag over my head." My self-esteem would continue to deteriorate. Eventually my only options would be to keep hanging out with them but wear a paper bag over my head, or dump them for my own emotional well-being. And I'm ALL OUT OF PAPER BAGS.

Edited (added snappy one-liner) 2013-08-04 01:09 (UTC)

It would definitely bother me, because "ugly" is different from "I don't find them attractive". It's a much stronger negative word. It implies being far below average, to the point where it's noticeable. Like a beautiful person stands out from the crowd, and ugly one does too.

I wouldn't end a friendship on that, but just like any other instance where a friend's thoughts hurt you, it would suck for a while.

If they specifically noted that I was ugly? I'd probably not really want to be their friend, no. Not finding me attractive is one thing - I don't mind being called plain or funny-looking. But if they can't find some tactful way to get across that they don't find me attractive, then...I'm not gonna bother to find a tactful way to tell them I think they're an asshole.

Depends. I assume most of my (male) friends don't find me attractive, because the ones that do tend to make it rather obvious.

But if one of them just walked up and said "hey you, did you know that I think you're ugly?" we might have words about it.

[ SECRET POST #2405 ]

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