case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-08-04 03:31 pm

[ SECRET POST #2406 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 077 secrets from Secret Submission Post #344.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2013-08-05 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
AYRT--languages and cultures and concepts change all the time, though. And there's a difference between 'uncomfortable' and 'hurt,' at least in my head. I dunno how it works for everyone. But say there's an obese sweaty guy who goes jogging past my house every morning wearing a pair of tight hot pink spandex short shorts. Looking at him kind of grosses me out. But that's my problem, not his. He's not doing it because he wants to make my life difficult, he's doing it because he likes pink and it's very hot out and he doesn't want to sweat up a bunch of clothes. I'm very very hairy for a cis woman, and sometimes people mock me for it. They're wrong for doing so, I'm not wrong for being hairy. Neither hypothetical obese sweaty guy in spandex nor actual me with my yeti legs and mustache and beard are hurting anyone by existing. And I don't see how examining the language people use about gender and sex, and applying it a little less haphazardly, is much of a hardship. Gender and sex are words for different concepts but people mix them up all the time. As for the rarity of trans* people, I don't think that should preclude stuff like using the pronouns they ask people to use. I mean, forms that ask for things like eye color have options for pink because of the occasional albino who's got pink irises.

(Anonymous) 2013-08-05 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
No, of course you and Pink Spandex Guy are not hurting anyone by existing and should not be mocked. As I said, that's not what I'm talking about. Nothing gives people the right to be cruel or harm others. There are basic rights, freedoms and dignities that all people are entitled to.

I'm just arguing that some of what I see expected or demanded, around here and elsewhere in fandom, goes way beyond that basic decent treatment and amounts to asking all of society to bend over backward for the benefit of a very few people. Adding a tickybox to a form for pink eyes is simple and has very little impact on anyone who doesn't have them. Ditching gender-specific pronouns in everyday speech and replacing them all with neutral alternatives (as one example) is an entirely different matter.

At what point does mere discomfort become suffering? Who is expected to just suck it up and who isn't, and why? And just how rare does something have to be before we're allowed to acknowledge that it's out of the ordinary and treat it as such?