[ SECRET POST #2406 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 077 secrets from Secret Submission Post #344.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Privilege

[chardmonster]

Extroverts have not figured out how not to be bothered by that.

Extroverts just don't stop having a busy social life because of it.

I"m sure there are a hell of a lot of extroverts with secret embarrassment.

Re: Privilege

[(Anonymous)]

It seems to me that it is at least possible, and probably even likely, that many extroverts do not feel the same kind of embarrassment that I do, or if they do, it does not last for the same length of time. I just don't see any reason for supposing that everyone responds to social situations the same way.

Re: Privilege

[chardmonster]

I just don't see any reason for supposing that introverts and extroverts have two entirely different psychologies rather than different social desires.

I consider myself a bit of an introvert. I prefer to be alone or with just one or two people. This is how I'm most comfortable. But every time I've said that people are surprised, because I tend to be social when I'm around people. I mean genuine surprise, not oh-let's-be-polite surprise.

I agonize over social mistakes and then crack jokes at parties and give advice to other grad students. Somehow I doubt extroverts are that different.

Stop assuming all the extroverts are those kids at the popular table you felt uncomfortable around.

Re: Privilege

[(Anonymous)]

I think we're talking past each other a little bit here?

I'm certainly not saying that extroverted people never feel embarrassment, more that the reaction to it and the experience of it and the degree to which certain things are felt is different in some cases. I don't want to assume that my particular experiences and feelings are those that everyone has. Not that some people have fundamentally different feelings, or that extroverts never feel embarrassment. But I don't think it's impossible that some people feel embarrassment more acutely, more strongly, more often, for a longer period of time compared to others - and I definitely don't want to assume that everyone feels embarrassment the same way i do, because why should they? And the same is true for social things generally, not just embarrassment. I don't think that's fundamentally unreasonable.

Also, what in the conversation made it necessary for you to say that I only hold my position because I was a loser in high school and am still working out resentments against the popular kids? Did I insult you in some way? If I did, I apologize.

Re: Privilege

[(Anonymous)]

Sure, everyone responds to things differently but you can't just say "all introverts are one way and all extroverts are another". Extroverts are definitely capable of embarrassment, and yeah, it's the same 'kind' as yours. Extroverts were bullied in school. Extroverts have anxiety, depression, and other disorders that affect the way they interact with people. All 'extrovert' means is 'someone who feels energized when around other people', it doesn't mean they are naturally good at all social interaction.

For reference I'm an introvert who loves going to huge events and talking to a lot of people, but needs a lot of rest afterwards. And I don't know how long you feel embarrassment but over the years I've kinda taught myself not to be embarrassed about things that happened years ago? But sometimes it still happens, and I don't see why it couldn't happen to someone who was extroverted.

Re: Privilege

[(Anonymous)]

I should have made it more clear that I wasn't trying to make any kind of universal judgment about extroverts and introverts. Should have been clear.

But sometimes it still happens, and I don't see why it couldn't happen to someone who was extroverted.

The point I was trying to make, I think, was pretty much this: I don't see why it couldn't happen, but I also don't see why it necessarily has to happen that way for everyone, either. I don't want to assume that everyone functions the same, and that's what I read Chard's post as doing (possibly misreading it).

Re: Privilege

[(Anonymous)]

I read a book called " The Introverts Dilemma." According to the book, an introvert is someone who gains energy in being alone and is often more interested in the depth of subject then breadth. Extroverts, on the other hand gain energy from being with people and are generally interested in the breadth of a subject.

Extroversion and Introversion is mostly a spectrum. There are plenty of social introverts and shy extroverts. In the book there was a section about how the worst possible thing to be was a extrovert with social anxiety because you couldn't recharge yourself without being in pain. Introversion/extroversion is all about where you get your energy from, and not necessarily about how well you actually do with people.