[ SECRET POST #2419 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2419 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Way early because taking dog to the vet. :c

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 075 secrets from Secret Submission Post #346.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Why I'm fucked up, volume 408

[(Anonymous)]

Over the years, with ever-growing maturity and ever-changing medications, I've managed to tamp down most of my extreme emotions. But there's one I still can't control. Jealousy. It eats at me so badly that I can't even pretend to be happy for someone, though I have graduated from whining about it in front of them to keeping my mouth shut and just avoiding being around them if possible. I don't think it can be tempered with meds either, because it's not really anxiety and it's not really anger...it's just jealousy. Is there even a chemical reaction in the brain associated with jealousy? Or is it a complicated mix of other emotions?

Ugh. I'm such a child. I should gush about how I'm so glad for people who get what I want, but I can't. It's the one thing I can never fake. I can hide it now, say nothing at all, but I can't pretend, not in the way I can pretend I'm not enraged or miserable or even gleeful. I don't know why I can't just force myself through it. It's just saying some words and making some facial expressions, right? But it's like there's a block...

Re: Why I'm fucked up, volume 408

[(Anonymous)]

You'll have to do some painful emotional digging and find out why you keep reacting like that.

this is a random shoot in the dark, but you could start with: okay, do you feel that this ("this" being what you are jealous of) is something you are missing in your life? if not, do you not like others having it even if you don't want it yourself?

and so on

Re: Why I'm fucked up, volume 408

[thene]

also with shoots in the dark: for me, jealousy always starts with comparing myself to others. If I can avoid doing that, and just see my life as my life and other people's lives as their own unconnected business, it doesn't much happen.