fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2420 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2420 ⌋

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My friends and I have noticed that one of our friends has had really bad body odour lately. Like a really strong period smell... all month round. We want to let her know as kindly as we can so that she might do something about it, but we can't find a way to say it without hurting her feelings. She's such a sweet girl and I know that everyone is noticing the smell :(

I strongly believe she has no idea what she smells like, because I figure if she did know she'd probably be self-conscious about it and not be so open to physical contact... right? But she's still just as touchy-feely as usual, still gives us all bear hugs whenever she sees us.

Rip the bandaid off and tell her. You're her friend. If I smelled terrible, and my friends didn't tell me, I wouldn't really consider them my friends, no matter how sensitive I was or how upset I got at the time.

An anecdote: one of my students had terrible BO and a ton of friends. She often came to class smelling like actual excrement. One of her friends asked me this same question, and I gave her the same advice. I'm pretty sure the girl didn't take my advice because nothing changed.

Anyway, I ended up teaching a unit on bathing practices throughout history (I teach World History), and kept saying things like, "You know how we shower every day or every other day? Well, the Romans . . ." Eventually, I think the girl got the hint because she stopped reeking.

But yeah. Just tell her. Put an anonymous note on her car or something if you have to, but tell her.

Hmmm that's a difficult situation.

Honestly, if it were me, I'd want to know if I had really terrible BO, because I sometimes don't notice obvious things like that.

On the other hand, unless it's someone I know really well - like a best friend - I'd probably interpret the advice badly, and begin to feel self-conscious and embarassed about myself, and wonder if my friends were laughing at me the whole time.

So - if you're going to tell her, be tactful and careful about how you do so. It's likely she'll feel embarassed.

Don't be subtle. It's the kind of thing where if they don't walk away upset and embarrassed, then they've not got the message.

Dear God, tell her as soon as you can. One of you (don't gang up on her at once, it'll make it more humiliating than it needs to be) take her aside and tell her. Don't mention you've all been discussing it without her knowing, and maybe ask her if something is wrong (could be anything, depression, water pipes broken at home, not enough money for laundry, etc). Example: "Hey, so-and-so, I just wanted to ask if you were feeling okay? You've been smelling pretty strongly lately and I was wondering if everything was all right with you." Or something like that. The longer you let this go on, the worse she'll feel when she thinks of how many other people might have noticed.

I am BO-prone (I've heard about one in six people has the gene for this, lol) and I wish someone had talked to me about it earlier in life. I lived in pretty shitty circumstances back then and our house had no working shower (I used to wash my feet and my hair in a bathroom sink), so I am sure I was awful to be around back then, but no one ever said anything. Fortunately I got pretty cleanly after I moved out of that shit, but I do wish someone had said something.

As someone who got really close to severe damage (maybe death? dunno) from a period that never stopped, please, let her know somehow. If she smells like period she may be dealing with the same thing and is ashamed to bring it up. I felt so dirty and filthy even though I constantly wore and changed out pads and kept myself clean. It took me becoming severely anemic before I finally talked to someone. So, please, let her know that there's someone that cares about her and wants her to get well.

And if it's not this, still tell her, because that smell is just so bad. It still turns my stomach. I'd want to know if I was leaving that stink in my wake.

She may well be afflicted with a urinary tract infection, a condition like it, or thrush. I knew a lot of diabetics whose high blood sugars caused thrush, and a few of them used to have a similar problem. It may well not be her fault, and if you can take her aside and gently tell her that you can... uh, smell her, then she might be able to get it seen to.

[ SECRET POST #2420 ]

How do you let a friend know they have terrible BO?

Re: How do you let a friend know they have terrible BO?

Re: How do you let a friend know they have terrible BO?

Re: How do you let a friend know they have terrible BO?

Re: How do you let a friend know they have terrible BO?

Re: How do you let a friend know they have terrible BO?

Re: How do you let a friend know they have terrible BO?

Re: How do you let a friend know they have terrible BO?