fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2422 ]

[ SECRET POST #2422 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2422 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Mortal Instruments]

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03.

[Harry Potter]

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04.

[Journey]

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[Claire Danes/Homeland]

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[Mortal Kombat]

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[Pacific Rim]

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[Pacific Rim]

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09.

[Reign]

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[Arrested Development]

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11.

[Supernatural, Scottie Thompson]

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12.

[Man From U.N.C.L.E]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 038 secrets from Secret Submission Post #346.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Been feeling kind of icky about this subject for a while and saw this today and it made me smile, hoping maybe some of y'all have some stuff to keep this mood going as well! Plus seems kind of relevant to some of our interests here.

http://www.upworthy.com/when-this-guy-explains-why-women-wont-date-him-you-may-roll-your-eyes-but-2-minutes?c=slt1

I like how the tone completely changes. That was good.

I think that made it even more effective because you can hear the cheers and agreement from some guys in the audience when he first starts and then he kind of goes NOPE. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE. LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES. and doesn't leave them any plausible deniability.

YES. I hope he changed some minds.

reminds me of that one video where (i think it was in some kind of US court?), someone started reading out a speech that appeared to be anti-gay-rights, and then revealed at the end it was actually word-for-word a speech given years ago that was anti-racial-equality. they didn't even know the difference.

the silence in the audience was delicious. wish i could find the link!

This? http://robertcargill.com/2012/10/19/clever-pastor-makes-gutsy-argument-against-gay-marriage/

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

(Anonymous) - 2013-08-21 00:13 (UTC) - Expand

Sound is frakked on my computer. Synopsize me?

I can transcript it in a bit maybe but essentially it starts with him moaning about the friendzone and the guys in the audience enthusiastically commiserating and then him continuing the story to when he started to realize that was a douchey attitude to have and how it contributes to rape culture.

I love how there's this one guy in the audience cheering him on in the beginning when he is talking about the friendzone but as soon as the poet goes 180, the audience guy goes, "Oh, COME ON!" Like the poet duped him into revealing that he's a schmuck.

Now that's comedy.

He starts out talking about how he spent high school in the "friend zone" (in kind of a funny anecdotal way; the audience is laughing) and two minutes in he gets serious and talks about how he realized that seeing women as owing him sex was wrong and how that kind of thinking encourages rape. The last line is something like "We can't defeat the monster if we can't recognize it in the mirror."

The first time I ever danced with a girl she leaned in close and asked me "Why are your arms so stiff? Dancing with you is like dancing with a mannequin if they made mannequins super bony and with very sweaty palms."

And my palms were sweaty and simultaneously ice cold. I was and continue to be a miracle of physics. Who knew that adult hands could be supported with wrists that a five year old or a baby duck could easily snap?

This may be a small part of why I spent my teenage years absolutely failing with women in middle school. I would ask girls I liked how much they weighed to see if I might weigh more. Numbers made me excited. I love math. I used to (?) everyone else love math too.

In high school I became intimate... with the friendzone. With one girl I (Guy shouts out "Hell yeah!") didn't even realize I was in it! She was from Sweden so I guess it was literally Stockholm Syndrome. (Inaudible over audience laughs and applause). "over her house and I would comfort her and tell her how she was beautiful or how her boyfriend was a dick or how integrals are related to derivaties.
Eventually I spent so much time in the friend zone I grew to think of it as some kind of magical home away from home. Some lush forest filled with unicorns and elves and puppies. None of who were getting laid. I was on an adventure! Constantly uncovering new questions about this mystical place. 'Are you in the friend zone if they're sleeping with other people and not telling you about it,' 'Are you in the friend zone if they're telling you they would totally marry you... in fifteen years," Why would you marry me in fifteen years if in fifteen years I'll still be a virgin because you never slept with me!

A few months after my first girlfriend and I broke up I heard she lost her virginity to the next guy she dated and at the time I thought of this as a betrayal and not her choice. As if she owed me something.

A newspaper column once defined the friendzone as follows: She discusses her love life with him and has the audacity to ask his advice on it. He performs favors for her. He does everything a boyfriend would do but gets no benefits.

As if the only reason to be a good friend or a decent fucking human is if you get something in exchange. When I ended up thinking of myself as a savior I eneded up thinking of myself as a savior with a salary. You put in your hours as a nice guy and sex is just a living wage. But sex is not a transaction. Sex is not a handshake to seal some deal. That girl did not owe me anything.

Last year I heard her home was broken into in a neighborhood known for sexual assaults. Nothing happened to her. We all know the statistics. Your rapist is more likely to be someone that you know. The boogeyman, the stranger in the alley, is real. But not as real as we are. We all know the statistics but we don't know how to accept how easily we become a part of the problem. You cannot kill a monster until you are willing to see it in the mirror, to recognize its own shape in your skin.

DA

Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to do this! Makes it easier for me to remember.

That was awesome. Thank you so much for posting it for us share!!

Oh my God he is awesome!

That made me feel better! Thank you! :)

Sadly I don't have anything to contribute.

Kris Straub did this comic about how the concept of the friend zone is dumb: http://chainsawsuit.com/2012/08/06/the-friend-zone/

the best part is the discussion section where one dude tries to defend the concept and gets completely shouted down by everyone else / kris writes a lot of words about his own growth and experiences

i don't know, it's not much, but i always liked it, and also kris straub's comics are really good

I hadn't seen that. It's always nice to know there is more out there, when it comes down to a numbers game, every one counts! Thanks for sharing. :)

i have since discovered that every guy who believes themselves to be in a friend zone has placed the girl of his desires in the romance zone, and just as the guy doesn’t want to be in his zone, the girl doesn’t want to be in that zone either.

that's a good way to put it, I like that

Yeah, I really like that line, too.

I remember watching a video by a game reviewer dude who was discussing the topic of how women are depicted in video games. he basically slammed the argument that "guys get objectified in the exact same way as women in video games so women should shut up and stop complaining".

i can't remember the youtube channel - but it gave me back some faith in humanity.

I saw this yesterday which I think demonstrates the fallacy of that argument quite nicely.

http://takealookatyourlife.tumblr.com/post/58764046897/iamthebatfan-jadelyn-enterprisingly-this

Hugh Jackman is very hot but in that first pic sexual attraction is not one of my first associations.

Nayrt

That's awesome and a great illustration. I don't think I've ever seen a mainstream magazine marketed to woman that put an exploitatively beefcakey photo of a guy on the cover.

was it this gem by the Jimquisition? Because thanks to this video, I finally can put into words what I feel when someone comes with the "but guys are objectified too" argument.

That is pretty damn amazing ngl, I love how he completely changes the tone within seconds.

He rocks. :)

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[ SECRET POST #2422 ]

Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Quick and dirty TRANSCRIPT

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Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!

Re: Positive stuff about guys and feminism thread!