fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2429 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2429 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Arrested Development]

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03.

[George R.R. Martin]

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04.

[Bee and PuppyCat]

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05.

[Harry Potter]

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06.

[Resident Evil 6]

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07.

[The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings]

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08.

[Naruto]

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09.

[Jin, Hanzawa Naoki]

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10.

[Neverwinter Nights]

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11.

[Shina Dark]

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12.

[Thomas Gibson from the series Criminal Minds]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 044 secrets from Secret Submission Post #347.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

IT'S DESTROYING ME!!!

I can't be around her because it instantly depresses me. She's gorgeous, gets along with everyone, has a million and one friends, is professionally successful and is great at art. My nose is huge and I look like a gremlin when I smile, I have very few friends, it's hard for me to meet new people, and my art is sub-par.

But I know that's not true! I know I have value, and I'm good in a lot of other things, and I do have friends, and they care about me. I know these things consciously, but whenever I'm faced with her accomplishments, I feel like a loser, like the terrible sequel to a great movie, like the shitty second book of the series, I don't know. I need this to stop... It's destroying my relationship with her...

You don't need to get along with everyone - no one does. I'm sure your sister is just good at keeping things shallow and short with the people she doesn't like/who don't like her. Maybe you could ask her for some advice on how to handle people you don't like?

It's better to have a few close friends than a million and one acquaintances that call themselves friends, and even better than having none at all; rather than being jealous, appreciate the friends you do have.

Either avoid hanging around mirrors or spend some more time in front of them practicing smiling (maybe use your mouth less and "smile with your eyes" by tightening the muscles around them? Try working your eyebrows in different positions) and applying make up (watch some tutorials, find what looks good on you/highlights your good features and practice it).

Rather than focusing on how you aren't as good at art as your sister try to find things you ARE really good at. Try new things if you can't thing of anything you do now. Pick something you really enjoy doing, a current hobby/whatever or something new you decide to try, and keep at it until you are better. If you really like art, do art, it doesn't have to be the same sort she does - and art is subjective anyway.

Try spending some time away from her (maybe doing the hobby searching?) and try to realize you are probably over-idealizing her perfection.

I would take a step back and see if these type of feelings are being fed from somewhere/someone outside of the two of you. Are you parents/other relatives always comparing you to her or vice versa?

If so, every time someone starts with a, "Oh that's okay I guess, but look at Susan's drawing/cure for cancer/hairstyle/etc." just cut them off with a, "Yes, well I'm not Susan." and a smile.

No two people are the same. My brother is very mechanically inclined, but he hates books and any sort of 'learning' that requires reading or studying, etc. He's very hands on. I am too, but I love reading, and I'm full of useless and random information from reading so much.

Our parents never pulled the "Well Andrew--" or "Well Sarah--" because they recognized that as alike as we were in some ways, we were very different in others.

Don't allow other people - even family members - to help feed the feelings of 'less' or 'unimportant' that you might have, and do your best to verbally remind them of that if it comes up.

following what comma_chameleon said, you might want to check out these forum threads:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3563667

and

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3566058

because ṕarents pitting their children against each other is part of a bigger thing

[ SECRET POST #2429 ]

I NEED TO STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO MY SISTER

Re: I NEED TO STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO MY SISTER

Re: I NEED TO STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO MY SISTER

Re: I NEED TO STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO MY SISTER