[ SECRET POST #2433 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2433 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 073 secrets from Secret Submission Post #348.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Props for this comment, but...while you've given what's now a popular definition of bisexual, it's not one that most bisexuals agree with, especially not older bisexuals. 'Bisexual' was coined in sexology, where it means what the middle of the Kinsey scale says it means - "both homosexual and heterosexual". The 'bi' isn't about the gender binary but the sexual binary (which IS absolute by definition: eg, I am female, so if I'm dating another woman that's homosexual, if I'm dating someone who isn't a woman that's heterosexual - whether that person is a man or a neutrois or a third-gender person, if they're not female it's by definition a heterosexual relationship for me.) IMX the difference between 'bisexual' and 'pansexual' is simply a cultural and generational shift that boils down to 'did you come out before or after 2005?' Personally I'm really not comfortable with the pansexual movement. I fit the definition (as do pretty much all the other bi adults I know), but I'm much more at home with 'bisexual'.

[saku]

oh, thanks for that info, i wasn't aware. i thought the difference between bi- and pan- was the gender binary.

can you explain what about the pansexual movement bothers you? i'm genuinely curious.

[(Anonymous)]

A few things, of varying levels of rationality.

That it's an ideological label rather than a sexological one (going back to the fact that in a practical sense there is no real difference between pan people and bi people). Because of that, it feels very much like a trend label a la demisexual rather than an orientation.

That they're making a particular ideological distinction based on being open to relationships with nonbinary people. Wtf, you do not own nonbinaries' asses. Out in the real world nonbinary people hook up with all kinds of folks - straight-identified, gay-identified, bi-identified. Underscores that there is no real distinction between pan and bi.

That they say and do biphobic things a LOT, starting with circulating the redefinition of bisexuality that you were using - they never checked in with the older bisexual community to even check what the fucking word meant or what kind of relationships bi people actually had. They often say bisexuals are transphobic - usually we'd say it's not cool to accuse an entire demographic of people of something with no evidence? but no, it happens a lot and I don't see pansexuals calling each other out on this shit. Also, I've honest-to-god seen pan-identified people saying that the reason they don't identify as bi is that bi people are all promiscuous and appearance-focused whereas their pansexuality is all about being attracted to people's personalities - wtf?!!!?

So...yeah. In my meaner moments I'd say that pansexuality is a mixture of buying into biphobia, using nonbinary people as ideological accessories, and being snowflakes. I don't attack them or anything, though I do call out the shittalking when I see it.

[saku]

that's definitely understandable and i see where you're coming from. i actually identify as pansexual (hence why i asked your opinion) but mostly on the basis that i've seen a number of bisexual people claim they wouldn't be attracted to intersex or ftm/mtf people, etc, and that doesn't describe my own attraction. i thought the term better described my openness to different kinds of non-binary relationships but it looks like i was wrong in assuming bisexual people were confined to the binary (i guess that's what happens when you use a small group of people to paint the whole demographic). i apologise for that. i'll look further into both labels as i don't want to offend anybody on accident.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for understanding. It's honestly a generational thing, seems like - I know there ARE younger people who use 'bisexual' to refer strictly to the gender binary thing, but that's not how it's always been. I mean, I didn't even learn the word 'pansexual' until years after I came out as bi. I wouldn't worry about offending anyone if you're not actively being a jerk.

(Funny how there's no word for gay people or straight people who aren't attracted to trans people, isn't it? lol biphobia)