fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2436 ]

[ SECRET POST #2436 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2436 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[The Book Thief, The Days of the Deer, Neil Gaiman's Sandman]

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02.

[Macklemore & Ryan Lewis]

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03.

[The Glades]

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04.

[Revenge]

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05.

[The Killing (AMC)]

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06.

[Star Trek]

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07.

[TRON: Uprising]

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08.

[Paul McCartney]

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09.

[Les Miserables]

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10.

[Mud by Yamashita Tomoko]

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11.

[The Beatles]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #348.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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A couple days ago, my boyfriend and I threw a barbecue at our house. We invited a lot of our friends. A few hours before the barbecue, one friend, who had recently decided to become vegetarian, called me, asking if we had any vegetarian options. I told her we had Caesar salad, fruit salad, and chips. She asked if we had any veggie burgers, and I said we didn't, but if she brought some, we'd be happy to throw them on the grill for her.

She became angry and asked why we didn't have any veggie burgers. I told her I had forgotten that she was vegetarian, and that no one else who was coming was vegetarian. She ended up coming to the barbecue but ended up pouting the entire time.

Another of my friends told me I should have just gone to the store and bought her veggie burgers, but I think she was being pretty entitled? I mean, I don't think I should have to go get a special meal just for her? And she also called me on really short notice. :/

She's being entitled. It would have been nice of you to have veggie burgers on hand, or maybe to throw some skewers of fresh vegetables on the grill. But if she's the only vegetarian there, it's ridiculous for her to expect you to buy a whole package of veggie burgers just so she can eat one of them.

Plus, she should have skipped the party if she couldn't be there without sulking and pouting.

maybe to throw some skewers of fresh vegetables on the grill

You should do this anyway, because it's actually really tasty, like as a side with your burgers. I think you would enjoy them!

Thick slices of sweet onion are especially good when grilled.

What I like to do is season zucchini halves and basically make them in to big ol' medium-rare veggie steaks. Best side ever. :D

Oh, man, grilled zucchini is the best

No, that honor belongs to grilled sweet corn.

Grilled mushrooms are the bomb!

Yeah, no, screw her - short notice and being snippy about it is damn rude. If she wants a vegetarian option and she's the *only one* who does, she needs to bring it herself. If half your friends were vegetarians, you'd have stuff, but one person? What are you going to do with the other veggie burgers? They don't come one a pack - they'll sit in your 'fridge/freezer until they go bad.

She needs to get over herself.

...You could eat them yourselves? Vegetarian food doesn't poison omnivores. It's not like you take one bite of a veggie burger, and it goes, "...I detect meat. I SHALL POISON YOU!" or something.

Uh, no shit. Some people, however *don't actually like them*. Difficult concept, i know.

Honestly, I find that more people are scared off by the IDEA of vegetarian (or, god forbid, vegan!) food than are turned off by the actual taste. Dedicated meat-eaters going, "Oh, I'd NEVER eat a veggie burger!"... who have never actually tried.

I agree that the person in question in this particular case should have given more warning, but seriously, if someone invites you over to eat food, AND you give them enough warning, then I do think it's rude if you don't have anything bar a few side dishes for them to eat.

In case you didn't notice, OP said they called a few hours before the bbq. That's way short notice, that's rude, and that's one person being entitled. To then come to the party and, instead of bringing your own veggie burger or whatever that you'd enjoy, to sit around pouting about not being catered to it is even *more* rude.

I've eaten veggie burgers. I think they're great. Not everyone agrees with me, and i would never insist that someone buy a box-full of them *just for me*.

I noticed. I also said, "I agree that the person in question in this particular case should have given more warning". I DID think they had acted rude.

However, a lot of commenters were basically saying, "Oh, if I have only one friend who's vegetarian, they should cater for themselves", which I disagree with - no matter how few people have that particular requirement, if you invite someone and you are aware of that requirement, you cater for them. Or YOU are rude.

Also, I've seen veggie burgers in packs of two.

Re: Vegetarian Friend Rant

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-04 15:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Vegetarian Friend Rant

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-04 22:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Vegetarian Friend Rant

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-05 05:03 (UTC) - Expand

Nah, no need to feel bad. If you have any kind of special diet, it's good manners to check with the host well in advance. Besides, you did have things she could eat and she could have brought something extra herself.

I'm a vegetarian, and I would have just brought veggie burgers.

(Or mushroom caps, or skewers and squash, or brussel sprouts, or something else because store-bought veggie burgers are not that good.)

Edited 2013-09-04 00:29 (UTC)

I do generally try to get food for veg friends BUT if she only did so switch recently, and she called you about this THE DAY OF THE EVENT, then screw it, I wouldn't have done it either.

One of my friends switched from vegetarian to vegan without me knowing, so there was no cake for her at my last birthday party. There will be this year, but there are things that are reasonable and things that are not.

Edited 2013-09-04 00:30 (UTC)

We used to have work cookouts, and we all chipped in for our meals. I chipped in, as well as bringing some of my own veggie burgers for grilling.

So, yeah, I think your friend was being an ass. If she wanted veggie burgers, she could've brought them herself.

it's really not that common for bbqs to have veggie burgers, idk why she seemed so shocked about that?? i don't eat most meat either and i generally make do at cookouts and stuff. i don't expect people to make a bunch of substitute dishes for an optional event, no less for just one person.

i think it would have been reasonable for her to have brought her own, since you offered to grill them for her.

I think she is being a little entitled, but considering this is a new situation for the both of you, you can take this moment to talk to each other about this, because this is a big deal for her. Tell her that you're sorry, but it's a new thing and you're not used to keeping vegetarians in mind considering no one else coming was vegetarian, also she called you short notice. Add in that since she's a vegetarian now, she needs to let you know in advance from now on so you will be prepared to make more vegetarian options available for her since neither you nor your boyfriend are vegetarians. Let her know that if you're going to have to be mindful of her being vegetarian she needs to mindful that you are not accustomed to cooking vegetarian on a daily basis when she is expecting you to cook.
I hope this didn't come off harsh, because I wouldn't want it to come off that way. The last thing I'd want is for your friend to be angrier with you. But I do know that when you cook for a vegetarian, it's nice to be prepared for it because one, you can cook some really good stuff rather than just buying frozen veggie burgers (believe it or not Guy Fieri's veggie patties are amazing; but then again his sister is a vegetarian), and two, it's not easy to just know how to cook everything that will make everyone happy if you have particular eaters coming into the scene.

anon below

Your first paragraph is something I wanted to say, but wasn't sure how to... I agree!

On one hand, I think it's a courtesy to have a vegetarian entree for your friend (and it's not just vegetarians who'd eat a veggie burger). Especially since there was only side dish options for her, and kind of the same side dish options that vegetarians end up getting at non-veg-friendly places.

otoh, calling a few hours beforehand is realllly short notice/reminder and makes your suggestion reasonable, and her coming and being outwardly snippy about it is terrible.

She sounds bitchy and entitled and you have better shit to do than cater to her. Like enjoying your tasty, tasty burger.

I was the first commenter on this thread, and after giving it some thought (why no, I have no life) I've revised my opinion a little. I still think your friend was rude and entitled. On the other hand, you're not quite off the hook either, because your response sounded perilously close to "You can eat your fill of all the food you bring yourself!" A good host wants all their guests to be able to enjoy the party to the fullest, and it's hard to do that when you're picking at a salad while everyone else is having delicious hot food. I still have more sympathy for you than for her, though, because her rudeness probably put your back up.

I hope a dietary choice won't affect your friendship.
I do think she was entitled - she has to "train" herself to mention, to remind people that she's vegetarian (at least for a while), especially when she accepts an invitation. (At least that's what my friends with special diets do. Just a friendly reminder when they're invited: a "you *do* remember that I'm vegetarian/diabetic/keeping paleo-diet, right? are you up for the challenge? should/can I bring something?".) She can't expect that everybody just know all her preferences.

And I do think that you, as a host, should somehow accomodate her, because unfortunately that's a host's job. (Few weeks before I frantically searched the Web for a cheap paleo-dessert when I invited my on-and-off-paleo friend. Nada. I had to be... innovative. (Ewwww!) And I had to apologize at the end.) I know it sucks, but your party - your responsibility.

I hope you two made up since then. At least, you're over this initial misunderstanding, and none of you ever will make this mistake egain.

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