fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2442 ]

[ SECRET POST #2442 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2442 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Okay, maybe call me stupid, but...

People bag on demisexual as if it's slutshaming. But hear me out. Even if you don't want to have sex with someone right off, if you're bisexual, you are still attracted to them from the start on some physical level, just not in the, "I would jump your bones right fucking now" way, are you not? From what I understood of demisexuality, it is meant to be a neat way to explain, "I am not attracted physically until much, much later in the relationship. There is literally no physical attraction until later. That's it."

Basically, a descriptor of when attraction begins and not... slutshaming... That's what I always say it as.

Yeah dude, that's what I was trying to say. Thanks. :)

I don't think it's slutshamming, but it isn't a sexuality. It was just a term made up by a teenage girl who wanted a sexuality to explain why her character hit on every character on the RP forum. It...isn't a real thing, basically.

You keep on saying that, but you literally just have a tumblr post to support you on that. Let's bring up some rp logs and talk.

Link me to the medical/scientific studies that created the term 'demisexual' and then we'll talk. :D

I never said that it was a scientific supported sexuality , just that this tumblr post doesn't back up the claim at all and it bugs the hell when people spread around rumors without any sort of legitimate source.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 03:49 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

vethica - 2013-09-10 03:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

Medical literature used to define homosexuality as mental illness. All terms are 'made up' at some point.

Dude, my fucking GRANDMA who used to be a sex therapist talked to me about demisexuality long before 2004. So why do you insist this chick 'invented' something on LJ?
Making a term popular isn't the same as making it up or inventing it. Do you understand the difference?

The only hits demisexuality gets are from tumblr and from pretty new (within the last few years) net articles. It's even considered a typo. This isn't a ~wicked old thing~. It's a facet of normal sexuality that people labeled as ~omgsuperrareandspecial, when it is neither of those things. The majority of the population would be demisexual. But...then again the majority of the population isn't obsessed with labels like teenagers/people with low self esteem are!

I am baffled that you think the majority of the population is incapable of finding strangers sexually attractive. I guess *I* must be a special snowflake since I experience attraction to celebrities I've never met.

Did you even read the comment you replied to?

Honestly, I think this could describe a lot of people. I don't think it deserves it's own "-sexual" label like heterosexual or homosexual.

This. Not finding someone attractive, but starting to see them different/finding them attractive after getting to know them is something really common and doesn't make sense as a sexuality.

I think it's a bit different with people who identify as demi-sexual. Finding *a* person not attractive until you get to know them is not uncommon. Finding *every* person unattractive until you get to know them probably is.

For example, I can see a picture of Chris Hemsworth and think "That guy is hot!" I don't know him and I don't want to have sex with him. But the physical attraction is definitely there.

As I understand it, a person who identifies as demi-sexual cannot see a picture of Hemsworth and think "Hot!" because they don't know him. The emotional connection *has* to come before the physical attraction.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 01:28 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-10 01:59 (UTC) - Expand

I like how someone upthread thought it could fall under a required kink for some people--emotional closeness. That sounds a little better.

Although I'm unsure the terminology for it works, because it feels like someone who would be partway between asexual and sexual, and the current definition doesn't quite map right for me. That might be my thing, though; certainly if I squint I see how it could.

Maybe that's what bothers me so much about the terminology - it sounds like it should describe only being partially sexually attracted to others, or attracted to very few people.

I think demisexual will work until we can figure out a better term, really. IT's not exactly a kink, I don't think. Kinks... Don't work like that. A kink is, like, vampirism or being tied up. Not required, but a bonus.

Maybe fetish? I'm not sure. I do have kinks, I'm just not sure how to apply the term here. The current terminology just doesn't pattern match for me, is all.

lol no. i've definitely met people i found average-looking at first who got inexplicably hot as i got to know them better.

DA

And I've gone from finding people extremely sexually attractive to extremely gross once I fell out of infatuation with them. What would that be called?

i'm sure someone on tumblr has come up with a term for that already.

Semisexual.

Sobering up?

But is that every single person, or a select few while you still find other people attractive from the start? If the latter, you wouldn't be demisexual. Demisexual would be the opposite--you don't feel any physical attraction toward anyone ever until later on in the relationship. Not just with a handful of people.

i wouldn't be demisexual either way because ~*~*~demisexuality~*~*~ is not a thing.

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