[ SECRET POST #2443 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2443 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Sailor Moon]


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03.
[Taken]


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04.
[Hetalia]


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05.
[John and Edward Grimes/Jedward]


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06.
[Zoolander]


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07.
[X-Files]


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08.
[Amanda Palmer and Paula Deen]


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09.
[Once Upon a Time]


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10.
[Corporal Rivaille from Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 035 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Diagnosis: fucked up

[(Anonymous)]

OP

It sounds stupid, but it's kind if ensured that a fuckton of work gets done. I've been in larger culture enough to know that it's harmful and kind of stupid, but it's how we've survived, especially without access to medical care. The nearest hospital was over 30 miles away where I grew up, and no one outside of state/county workers have health insurance.

But please consider: I grew up this way. It's been ingrained in me to the point where just acknowledging my sickness, and it's impact on me, is just as terrifying to me as thinking that this can kill me. This cultural teaching is on the same, visceral, mortal level as death. It is that deeply ingrained, and that personal.

I really don't know how to better explain this. It's even emotionally deeper than being in an abusive relationship, because literally everyone around you is in the same relationship as you, with the same problems.

I know I need to go to a doctor. I know it... may?... be good for me. But I am terrified, of trying to be the sick person, and also be the productive person. I can do it, I did it all of last year, but I still need to get a job.

And I can't get a good job while being sick.

I'm sorry, I know this is ridiculous and stupid and fucked up, I know.