fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2445 ]

[ SECRET POST #2445 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2445 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Breaking Bad]

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[Cillian Murphy]

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[Robert Downey Jr.]

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[Star Trek]

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[Homestuck]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 010 secrets from Secret Submission Post #349.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Is there a way to deal with a housemate who uses a FUCKTON of toilet paper, throws a tantrum on being asked to pay a share of the toilet paper costs, makes a huge deal out of buying a few rolls for themselves that NO ONE ELSE IS TO USE!!!!1!!! then resorts to stealing paper when those rolls run out?

(IDEFK why they think we weren't going to notice their paper ran out, it's a different brand and they're the only household member who doesn't flush after going.)

What a bizarre person.

Hoard the toilet paper and charge the overgrown baby to use any.

This. Hide that shit from them in your rooms and if they toss your property trying to find it for free, lower the fucking boom on them for invasion of privacy. As for the not-flushing, I don't even know. The only thing I'm coming up with is a human-sized shipping crate en route to Antarctica, but I have anger issues.

...doesn't flush after going.

How the ever loving fuck did they survive into adulthood.

I grew up during a water shortage and rarely flush a bowl with just urine. But I live alone and always flush when not at home or when other people are in my place. And I clean my bathroom every other week.

Which is completely understandable.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I grew up with "If it's yellow, let it mellow" and a common request in our house was "Can I pee on your pee?" On the other hand, that means that when I'm not at home, I'll double-check to make sure I remembered to flush.

We don't even have a water shortage and we used to never flush when it was just pee because it felt wasteful and it wasn't stinking up the bathroom. But we got a new toiler with two flush settings and the pee setting uses such a small amount of water that we flush now.

Re: First World Problems

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-13 21:38 (UTC) - Expand

I once had a housemate that kept stealing our TP, even though it was cheap and the grocery store was seriously like two fucking blocks away. So we just learned not to keep it in the bathroom. It stayed in our bedroom and we just grabbed it on the way.

I mean, it's a pain if you forget, but the housemate can't steal what's not there /shrug

call a talkshow host and see if they can do an intervention recorded in front of a live studio audience

don't keep your TP in the bathroom, that's probably the easiest course of action even if it is a bit inconvenient for you (you just need to always remember to take some with you when you use the restroom which is probably the biggest challenge). I'm honestly not sure if there's any other way to make her stop.

echoing the "keep the paper with you" idea

hide it, lock it and keep the key on a necklace, whatever it takes

they'll learn because they'll learn

It may be hopeless, because I can't help suspecting that their inconsiderate attitude about toileting carries over to other aspects of the housemate relationship as well. I mean, they not only use reams of toilet paper, but don't flush? What the everloving fuck? Let me guess, they also leave it to you to plunge/snake the stool when they block it up. Have you tried confronting them about the sheer disgustingness of leaving their shit in the bowl for the next person to flush (and hope it doesn't overflow onto their shoes)?

I once had a housemate who'd sneak into my room while I was at work to look at porn on my computer. He didn't have one (he was an exchange student and had computer access at his school) and had once asked me if he could use mine to check his email.

Theeeeeeeeeeen I checked my browser history. (He was ESL, so there were multiple failed attempts at thinks like "Atatck Penes" before he finally used a dictionary to google "rape".) And started locking my door whenever I was at work.

Seconding everyone saying to put toilet paper under lock and key. If they chuck a tantrum, tell them to fuck off. If they invade your personal space or cause damage to the property, you have grounds for contacting the landlord about their behaviour. The kind of person who doesn't even flush a toilet cannot be pleasant to be around period, and it's time to put your foot down hard until they shut up or get out.

Is there any reason you (i.e., you and the other housemates together) can't sit them down and tell them that

(a) their toileting habits are wasteful, likely to block the stool, and beyond-the-pale disgusting--seriously, do they think anyone else wants to see their ordure?

and

(b) if they don't stop, you and the other housemates are going to start charging them a larger share of the rent for putting up with their grossness?

You could lock up your toilet paper. If there's a public restroom nearby you could stop buying toilet paper and just shit in there until he gets the message

I had this problem with a college roommate. She once used 4 rolls of my toilet paper in two days and did not put any back. Now I knew I had four left so I was not prepared when all of a sudden there was none for me. My solution was to keep the toilet paper in my locked bedroom because she never replaced any EVER.

She once used 4 rolls of my toilet paper in two days

how the hell? even the worst diarrhea known to man couldn't do that much damage...was she actually papering people's houses with it or something?

I honestly don't know, which is why I also find it incredibly rude she didn't replace any of it. She could have gotten diarrhea and her period or had guests over when I wasn't there, I still don't know how you use that much.

She and I didn't speak at all and I only found out she moved mid semester because I was home when she moved her stuff out. (we were randomly assigned each other)

"Hoard toilet paper. Hoard it like it's made of gold! 'Cause it is!"

--God

Start keeping your tp in your room and start planning for moving house.

A person that doesn't flush also doesn't wash their hands after going, so everything that person touches will be contaminated with their e-coli. Missing tp is a minor problem in comparison.

*blech*

IDK, rereading this thread, I actually wonder if the housemate is some kind of extreme germaphobe who uses huge wads of TP for fear that they'll get shit on their fingers, and who doesn't flush because they're afraid of being spattered.

Of course, it's more likely that they're just a disgusting, inconsiderate shitbag. But it's not necessarily a given that they don't wash their hands.

Re: First World Problems

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-13 16:48 (UTC) - Expand

Re: First World Problems

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-13 17:43 (UTC) - Expand

1. Scott tissue
2. Keep Scott tissue in a locked box, only to be opened during your personal need
3. Play the following prank on roommate:
-Mix vinegar and yellow food dye in small bowl
-Get piece of chocolate or a handful of brown M&Ms and melt in the microwave
-Steal sample of roommate's toilet paper, wad it up and dampen under faucet
-Put damp sample on top of roommate's bed, apply yellow vinegar solution and melted chocolate to damp sample as needed
-Leave passive-aggressive note: "Hey, you left this in the bathroom... did you want it back????"

Note: I make no guarantee that any form of bitter retaliation will not follow.

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