fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2447 ]

[ SECRET POST #2447 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2447 ⌋

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I've been forced to listen to too many rants about how one MUST celebrate some stages of life in church, nevermind that one isn't religious and most certainly doesn't believe in God. ( No, I'm not religous and I don't live in the US. I'm in a rather secular country in northern Europe.)

Baptism for example: you don't believe, but you're happy to put your child through a religious ceremony you don't really believe in because of tradition. And then there's the Confirmation. Kids going through it because of pressure from family in the name of tradition and the material rewards at the end of it. Faith is rarely a factor.

I find it disrespectful to read the Lutheran Worship out loud in church when I don't believe a single word of it. It's dishonest and I'm not comfortable sitting there and basicly lying. Unfortunately, it's also bad form to not attend when family and friends choose to have a church wedding or baptism.

My parents are non-believers and they took me to some different churches when I was a kid, just to expose me to different ideas and let me make my own choices. My dad also took me to some Pagan festivals.

Personally I have no problem going to a funeral and going along with the ceremonies. I think if I attended worship every week and pretended to be something I wasn't, it would be disrespectful (and pointless?) but I don't think singing a hymn chosen by the family of the deceased, or just sitting there while two people get married according to what they believe, or even just sitting there listening to the story of Christmas and then shaking hands with people and saying "Peace be with you" is on the same level as that.

Exposure to different ideas is fine. Funerals have been less of a problem for me as those who passed and family of similar age were devout for the most part.

Weddings on the other hand...they've been for the pretty, period.

Gotta be honest, I haven't even been to a wedding that I was old enough to remember. But I dunno, I don't think it would be such a big deal. Do you have to read things outloud if you don't want to? I think just standing and opening the book would be fine.

...anon are you dutch? Cause wow that sounds a like my experience.

On one hand, yeah - I can see how the ranting would be annoying and they shouldn't do it.

On the other? Where someone else's baptism or wedding is concerned, what skin is it off your nose to go? It's a big event in the life of your loved one[s], and if they invited you, chances are they want you to be there for them. I don't mean this in a "YOU MUST GO" or anything but...it sounds like, where those are concerned, you're basically going "Well you're doing something I don't like with this big event in your life! So I'm not gonna come!"

My husband and I are theists and we were married outside by a friend. But most of my friends have gotten married in churches and many have had their kid baptized. I always go and I always do any readings involved because it's an important and special day for my friend(s). I don't bow my head during prayers and don't say amen because that would be both pointless and disrespectful (to me AND them), and it's never once hurt me. More importantly, my doing things this ways means NOT hurting my friends and their families on their special day.

I think I can relate. While I do consider myself religious, my view of God and Christianity as a whole differs a lot from that of the Catholic Church, which is the prevalent church around here. So while I will go to mass when I have to, I simply don't join in the hymns/songs/readings/what-have-you that go against what I believe.

My sister who doesn't believe in God at all does the same. We go out of respect for our friends and family (my grandfather was very devout, for example, and to honor his memory my family goes to church on the Sunday after birthday), but we don't pretend to believe in something we don't. If it bothers anyone that we don't join the communion they have yet to say something.

As a Christian, let me hasten to assure you, it is okay not to participate in parts or all of a church service if you are there as a non-believer. Which isn't to say I wouldn't want you to come to church with me (because I totally would), but when we have communion, frex, the pastor actually asks anyone who isn't a Christian not to participate. (There's a theological reason behind this that I won't bore you with, but that's the upshot.) If you end up in a church service, like say a funeral or a wedding or because you're visiting someone or something, I wouldn't run around heckling anybody, but it's totally cool to just be a quiet non-participant.

I'm also an atheist, from a part of the U.S. where most people are like what you describe-- they go through the rituals whether or not they're deeply religious, because it's traditional. I see a significant difference between baptizing my own child vs. attending someone's church wedding. As an atheist, I wouldn't do the former, but for someone's wedding, I'm not there because I believe in the religion, I'm there to celebrate and support people I care about. It isn't about religion or the church as an institution then, it's about the people.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2447 ]

Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.

Re: Non-believers and church: a rant.