fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2455 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2455 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"where nobody had ever touched him sexually"

what the actual fuck.

Saw it once, thought "..." and just moved on.

And now, I've seen it over. And over. And OVER again in fic, across fandoms, across anything that makes any sense.

The only reason I can think of for touching a anyone's anus that ISN'T sexual would be a medical exam - but that makes little sense for characters that are in their twenties or so, and even LESS sense for characters in time periods before that would have been a medical thing.

In the grip of lust, when somebody's tried something with me for the first time, my instinct has never been to compare it to all the UN-sexy times that could have been done and think "oooh, for the first time that's ... sexual!" It was more along the lines of "yes, please, do that again."

Now every time I see it, my mind leaves an otherwise pleasurable porn to start wondering why the character has "unsexual" anal touching to compare fingering to. "Well, he's not at the age where a prostate exam would be routine, so maybe it was palpation for ... hm... appendicitis? hemorrhoids? ... whatever it is, I hope it wasn't serious and they're ok now, and ...." and the mood is gone.

Somebody make this make sense to me.

sitting on someone nonsexually through pants, etc? id think its hard to find someone whose anus hasn't nonsexually touched things just by sitting down

it always refers to the touch of a finger to the anus, so no, it's nothing like that. As in "And then a finger slid down between his cheeks and touched him where nobody ever had before sexually" type of thing.

p. sure my anus has touched a lot of things and people, granted not skin to skin, and nobody has ever poked a finger at it nor have i ever had anal sex with it. i could say nobody has ever touched my anus sexually because they haven't?? it makes sense and is true. i mean, i wipe my butt all the time

.... your anus isn't your arse, though; sitting on somebody's lap, or getting a friendly pat on the backside has nothing to do with your anus. It's kind of hard to touch one accidentally.

As for wiping... obviously, everyone touches themselves that way. But- the last thing I'd be thinking about when having sex with anybody would be "oh, wow, that's different from when I touch those things for hygiene." So, if that's what writers are thinking when they say that, it's still a pretty big mood breaker. That'd be like comparing a first kiss mentally to "wow, a tongue in my mouth, that's just like when I chew my food, but SEXY".

so you've never like sat in a chair and had your anus touch anything through your underwear or pants? it's happened to me and im not particularly big or small

idk maybe you focus on the word sexually too much, if somebody told me nobody has ever touched my anus sexually id say yea that's true nobody has? i wouldnt be thinking of times my anus touched things nonsexually, i would be thinking of times my anus has been touched sexually which is 0 times and agreeing that hasn't happened

Um. My anus is safely nestled deep within my buttocks, so... no. The only way something would touch my anus from sitting is if I sat on the sharp edge of a wedge.

Maybe you just have a flat ass.

That's definitely weird, and I'm not sure what they could mean by it. Like the above "And then a finger slid down between his cheeks and touched him where nobody ever had before sexually", I've seen similar things several times, but without the 'sexually' added to the end. Just "where nobody had ever touched him before", period.

I guess it's possible the writer thinks it's a routine medical thing that happens all the time and that's why they added the 'sexually' to the end? Otherwise I have no idea.

yeah, I'd understand "where nobody touched before" just fine without the "...sexually". That's pretty much standard for "first time" stories.

But tacking "sexually" on there implies non-sexual touching... *sigh * I blame the constant use of the prostate exam as a joke in stand-up routines and comedy; it makes people think they're just done aaaaall the time.

i would find "nobody touched before" weirder? because that includes them and they've never wiped their own ass

Here's one that I've been running across constantly lately: 'licked into his mouth' during kissing. Just. Didn't phase me the first time but now every time I read it I get more and more weirded out by that description.

Gods, I've seen that too. Yeah, once you recognize a stock phrase, you can never just accept in in a story again.

... I guess this either means we're really attuned to language or that we read way too much erotica.

Maybe he was constipated and had to stick a finger up his arse to get poo out?

I've done that myself in case anyone's asking.....

Saw the thread title, thought you meant the stupid expressions people make during porn and was in full agreement. This though...eh. Purple prose is pretty commonplace, and some people have a virginity kink.

[ SECRET POST #2455 ]

stupid expression ruining sex scenes

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Re: stupid expression ruining sex scenes