fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2458 ]

[ SECRET POST #2458 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2458 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Aneurin Barnard playing Richard III in The White Queen]

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03.

[Leverage]

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04.

[Pokemon]

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05.

[Discworld]

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06.

[legend of korra]

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07.

[The Young Protectors]

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08.

[Animal Crossing]

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09.

[Men in Black]

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10.

[The Rivers of London]

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11.

[Teen Wolf]

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12.

[Welcome to Night Vale]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 026 secrets from Secret Submission Post #351.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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http://thisisthinprivilege.tumblr.com/post/62073806549/thin-privilege-is-being-able-to-walk-by-a-group-of

This blog is so full of it, I'm sorry but thin women don't get harassed? I fucking got harassed when I was fat, I got harassed when I was skinny and now that I'm fat again I get harassed.

Well, of course thin women get harassed, but I would agree that thin women probably do have "privilege" over fat women. Thin is still seen as a beauty ideal, and beauty is a privilege (seriously, "beautiful" people have been found to get paid more and have higher chances of scoring better jobs, and just being more well liked in general).

And yet very beautiful people often have shit self-esteem because people are less likely to approach them, and they grow up with people constantly talking about their looks, which then turns into "is that all that's worthwhile about me?". They also get treated like pieces of meat. Woo!

Also studies have shown that female employers are less likely to hire attractive women, even if they're fully qualified. So there's that.

Seriously, this idea that beauty = privilege is... unfounded. There are some benefits, but there are also lots of downsides.

Being within a certain distance of some societally perceived norm privilege?

Except it's not unfounded at all.

http://www.businessinsider.com/studies-show-the-advantages-of-being-beautiful-2013-6

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2010/07/19/the-beauty-advantage.html

I'm sorry, but I don't buy that beautiful people have significant self esteem problems compared to non-beautiful people, because "people are less likely to approach them." I'm calling bullshit on that statement. I'd go so far as to say people, on average, who are traditionally better looking tend to have higher self esteem.

I also don't think that female employer study is real. Anyway, since it's much more likely you're going to be hired by a guy, that doesn't give you much of a hit.

Was it all the same kinds of harassment?

That blog can be so fucking ridiculous I swear

There was a submission from a woman who said her and her fiance were both fat and they couldn't have sex because of his short 6in dick and it was tagged as abuse (not abuse as in = this is an abusive troll comment but actually I don't know why it was tagged as abuse, maybe because the mod felt the fact poster and BF couldn't have sex was abuse or something)

if you have a link please give it to me because that is hilarious.

I do believe that thin privilege is a thing, but you're right when you say the link you posted isn't an example of it. The exact same shit gets thrown at thin people.

I have to call bullshit when I hear thin women whine about being harassed. I realize that some people might give them shit over it, and I agree that that sucks, but it's nowhere near the amount of shit fat women hear. Thin is the societal standard, the ideal--it's what's on the cover of every magazine, every form of marketing imaginable, what you see when you turn on the TV or go to the theater. Having the occasional asshole tell you to eat a sandwich sucks, but it's not even remotely comparable to society at large telling you that you're not good enough, you'll never be good enough. Hearing constant men make fat jokes and talk about how they'd never date a larger woman. Going into a clothing store and having a group of size 2 16 year olds laugh at you because you have the audacity to try to find something that's cute and not something your grandmother would wear.

When I was thin, yes, every now and then I would have people harassing me about how I needed to eat more. And yes, it was annoying. But then I would have THE REST OF SOCIETY to remind me that being thin was awesome and wonderful, and forget all about those idiots' comments.

Thin privilege absolutely fucking exists.

> I have to call bullshit when I hear thin women whine about being harassed. I realize that some people might give them shit over it, and I agree that that sucks, but it's nowhere near the amount of shit fat women hear. "

Ahhh the neverending "you don't have it as bad as ___ so shut up" mentality. Of course thin women don't get as many comments about their weight as larger women do. That doesn't mean their complaints are bullshit. Getting told to eat a sandwich isn't negligible because more women are told to put down their fork.

Also, thin women are also taught to feel like they're not good enough, just so you know. The images in the magazines aren't just about weight. There's a heck of a lot of things that thin women feel pressure to emulate which are physically impossible to achieve without surgery. There are loads of thin women who have pear-shaped bodies who agonize over their large thighs and small boobs, for example. There are thin women with large noses or receding chins or uneven breasts or flat chests.

And this is obviously not to discount the issues larger women face because of COURSE our society treats them terribly. But to make it an us vs. them issue, to mock thin women for their image issues, is just fucking awful.

Ahhh the neverending "you don't have it as bad as ___ so shut up" mentality

Except some people genuinely don't have it as bad. I'm sick of the "everyone's complaints are equally valid, despite the fact that one person has an objectively more legitimate reason to complain" mentality. If one person has terminal cancer and another has a sprained ankle, their complaints are not equally valid. Sure, it sucks to sprain your ankle, but it will heal and you'll be fine. The other person IS DYING. On this issue alone, not taking into account anything else either person might be dealing with, the person with the sprained ankle DOES NOT HAVE IT AS BAD. I'm not saying they can't complain, but I think most people would agree that they shouldn't complain to the person that had cancer. Obviously that's a much more dramatic example but I don't get how some people refuse to acknowledge that some people actually do have it worse than they do. A thin girl should not complain to a fat girl how she has it soooo tough being thin.

The internet is a little bit of a different situation just because on a site like this or a blog or something you're going to have far more people reading/commenting, whereas in person it's a little easier to only bitch about being thin to your thin friends where there's not an overweight person around. I'm not sure what the answer to that is, but it's seriously annoying to listen to skinny girls whining about how hard it is to be skinny when they're gorgeous and can wear cute clothes and have all the guys hitting on them while you're sitting in a corner by yourself being ignored by everyone.

Maybe I'm looking at it from a different perspective because I've been in both situations. When I was thin I occasionally complained about it, yes. But I can say now that I'm on the other side that I had it so much easier then, even with the minor "harassment" I got, and I had absolutely no right to complain. I would do anything to look like that again, and I'm working on getting there.

SA

Apparently I wasn't finished.

Also, thin women are also taught to feel like they're not good enough, just so you know. The images in the magazines aren't just about weight. There's a heck of a lot of things that thin women feel pressure to emulate which are physically impossible to achieve without surgery. There are loads of thin women who have pear-shaped bodies who agonize over their large thighs and small boobs, for example. There are thin women with large noses or receding chins or uneven breasts or flat chests.

Except those issues have nothing to do with being thin. There are larger women with big noses and even ones with small boobs. A thin woman might be given shit over having a big nose, but a fat woman will be made fun of for having a big nose AND for being overweight.

But to make it an us vs. them issue, to mock thin women for their image issues, is just fucking awful.

Saying they don't have as much room to complain isn't mocking. How about we just say that no woman should be judged solely for her looks, because that sucks no matter what size you are. But to specifically point out "oh it's so hard being thin!!!!" and complaining about it when that's the ideal is kind of a shitty thing to do to people who are made fun of and criticized more than you are.

Except that being fat is nowhere near the same as having cancer, as someone who has lost relatives to cancer, seriously fuck you

Half the comment you're replying to is made up of acknowledgement that skinny women don't have it as bad... and your brilliant counter-argument is "But skinny women don't have it as bad!!" Next time you might want to try reading what people are saying before you barf out an angry rant at them. I'm just sayin'.

Hi! I'm fat and this shit never happened to me after ninth grade.

I'm not saying you didn't experience this. I am saying that this is far from universal and telling a bunch of teenagers you're fat therefore the world hates you you'd better assume everyone cares how fat you are and hates you for it is incredibly harmful! It makes them feel bad when they might not have a good reason to! It makes them afraid to appear in public! It's mean!

I'm fat! I have a romantic partner and speak in public and don't get yelled at!

Edited 2013-09-26 04:23 (UTC)

I'm not sure if this is actually supposed to be in reply to me or not but I never told a bunch of teenagers that? All I said was that that's what I experienced and a bunch of skinny girls whining about how hard they have it when overall they have it much easier is just really annoying.

I wouldn't say I get YELLED at in public, but I have had people make rude (non-yelling) comments. And I know that as many people as there are in the world there's probably someone out there somewhere that would be willing to date me, but I have nothing in common with any of the guys near me (and I'm not sure how to meet one anyway since I don't go to clubs or bars or anything). I've thought of online dating but really don't want to put a picture of myself on a dating profile only to have a bunch of dudes go "lol fatty".

There just seems to be this prevailing idea that to be fat is social death, avoid all hopes of love and companionship. The solution is never "avoid jerks." The idea is "the entire world is jerks, everyone cares how fat you are."

I thank god I didn't grow up on the internet because I would've had little hope and might not have ended up where I am now.

Anyway I'm fat--as in I shop at Lane Bryant fat. I put a picture of myself on the internet. Got no fatty remarks. I found Noodle, who is pretty nice in person. You might get a mean remark, that's true. In that case, hit delete and the mean remark is gone.

You're probably right. It's just...frustrating. Aside from worrying about the weight thing, I'm...sort of interested in some unusual things, sexually. I feel like the chances of finding a guy who's into the same things and also won't care that I'm fat are pretty much nonexistent. Especially in a small town. But I hate the idea that I'd have to move somewhere else and leave my family and friends and my job and my entire life just to find a boyfriend.

The small town thing is a problem, but... yeah, if anything you might have more luck among the kinky.

Also: you don't have to move somewhere else. You might have to drive a lot.

Thin women have to deal with society telling them that their only purpose or value in life is their physical attractiveness.

Fat women have to deal with society telling them that their only purpose or value in life is their physical attractiveness AND GOD YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT FUCKING RIGHT YOUR EXISTENCE IS WORTHLESS

there's no winning either way

like, when i was thin people would insult me over it - random strangers coming up in the street! Now I'm obese no-one says it to my face but it's there in not-offering me food like rest of coworkers, various mentions of the stairs etc etc

xDDD this thing...

Ahem, yea. Catcalls if you're "skinny," fatcalls if you're "not." I was talking about this with a co-worker the other day, bought up regarding the construction site next door. Women either stand up to women's standards of beauty, or get told they're not good enough.

Bless our predominantly unachievable standards. <3

Edited 2013-09-26 06:41 (UTC)

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[ SECRET POST #2458 ]

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