[ SECRET POST #2462 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2462 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 057 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

can't make fandom friends

[(Anonymous)]

I can't make fandom/internet friends and don't have any real life friends right now. It just seems that people only like you for what you can give them and if you aren't interesting/witty you're sol, especially on the internet. Is anyone in the same boat?

Re: can't make fandom friends

[(Anonymous)]

I sort of am?I mostly made fandom friends through rping, but since college started up, and I recently went into new fandoms I can't really do that this time around.

Re: can't make fandom friends

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it's been that way since I've been in fandom too, so about eight years.

I've tried chatrooms, I've been somewhat active on forums, and there was even this one art club thing I did that took off really well. There's been a few people that I've gotten along with well, but nobody that I consistently communicate with or talk outside of the places I've met them. I guess, I'm just kind of lurk-y so it's kind of hard for people reach out to me and I'm not all that interesting in the first place.

I've tried doing some art things because I don't entirely suck at that, but I've never really been able keep at it to the point that a lot of people are interested in what I draw.

Re: can't make fandom friends

[littlestbirds]

That's not my experience IRL. People just want friends to share experiences with. Some relationships are also based on other things, but I don't think that makes a friendship.

My inability to make friends, online or off, is all on me. I just suck at it, I hope I don't make people feel like you.

Re: can't make fandom friends

[cecilegrey]

It just seems that people only like you for what you can give them

Yeah, I can get that vibe sometimes.

I feel like I used to have a lot more fandom friends than I do now. Seems like it has partly to do with participation -- I used to write a lot and mod comms and I just had a lot of motivation to keep active. The little friendships just seemed to come naturally. But by this point many of us have drifted apart. Probably due to less participation and scattering communities. I have found it difficult to make friends in my new fandom.

Re: can't make fandom friends

[tamabonotchi]

Yeah I've never been good at making any sort of fandom friend- none, really. I mostly read and sometimes write fanfic but I have no idea how people make fandom friends that I see always conversing on tumblr.

Re: can't make fandom friends

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes when people already have a bunch of friends, it's hard to become their friend because they're not really looking for new friends or - if everyone in their social circle are all mutual friends - you are an outsider. The trick is finding people who need friends as much as you do so you both at least make an effort to maintain contact rather than ignoring each other once your excuse to interact passes. I have no advice for how to do that, though...

Re: can't make fandom friends

[(Anonymous)]

well, generally when it comes to friends I do want to be able to hold a conversation so technically I guess if I don't find you interesting I'm probably not going to hold conversations and probably not become a friend

Re: can't make fandom friends

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, OP. Fortunately, being interesting (or more to the point, having interesting things to say) and witty is something that's within your power to change. If that's something you still need to work on, then being a sympathetic listener rarely goes amiss.