fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2465 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2465 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Twin Peaks]

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03.

[Doonesbury, O Human Star]

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04.

[Two of a Kind]

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05.

[Cleopatra/Elizabeth Taylor]

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06.

[The Final Descent by Rick Yancey]

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07.

[Attack on Titan]

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08.

[Sleepy Hollow]

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09.

[Whitechapel]

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10.

[Outlast]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm bipolar and, based on my experience/study, you might be. Two months is within typical length for an episode, and the 'take-on-a-project, crash' pattern certainly exists. Really, unless it's a textbook case, it's really hard to tell if there's an actual disorder, or just stress, or just bad habits.

Some other things to look for (in very basic terms)*:

1. During these periods, what are your emotions? Do you get racing thoughts- especially if they impair actually doing anything? Mania doesn't necessarily mean happy, it just means 'up', which could be happy, or excited, or anxious, or angry. When I'm manic, I look like I'm on cocaine. I'm often not happy in the slightest, but scared because I feel like my heart is pounding too hard, but I'm still laughing.

2. Do you have delusions ("I'm gonna be president next election!") or hallucinations, either during these periods or not? This isn't by any means required for a diagnosis, but it's also very common. Even if you have milder moods than happen with bipolar 1, delusions and hallucinations are a big flag.

3. During these periods, do you take (or want to take) risky behavior? Speeding by more than, say, 20 mph, or going and getting blindingly drunk (and you usually don't)?

None of these are concrete or absolutely required. These just seem to be the most typical manic behaviors. Which lead to...

4. Look up 'cyclothymia' (sometimes 'bipolar 3'), which is 'mild mania, mild depression'. It might hit home a bit more for you.

and 5. I hate to say this, because it's always said so judgmentally, but it's still a necessary question. It's possible that you have periods of depression, and mistake the normal periods as 'up' periods. Only you and a good doctor can make that call. Mania and hypomania aren't just 'up', but 'up to the point of dysfunction'. If those moods are harmful in some way, then it's very possible.

*(You also don't have to answer but to yourself. I don't want to make you feel awkward or anything).

I saw your response after posting mine and just had to say "Bless you" for #5. I wish someone had pointed that out to me when I was diagnosed. I spent more than a decade on Lithium before we figured that out.

#5. That may very well be true. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember (not actively suicidal but I do think about it a lot). My sister suggested I see a doctor and see about getting on anti-depressents. She likened it to getting glasses for the first time. You don't actually realize how bad your problem is until you get something to correct it. So perhaps what I am feeling as mania are just...how everyone else feels normally.

And I will have to find a good doctor. The doctor my sister used to go to just likes prescribing pills for any old reason.

Just be careful with the antidepressants. If you are bipolar, there's a very high chance that antidepressants can send you into a severe mania. It's the one reason I'm absolutely sure about my diagnosis. I certainly don't mean to scare you off, but I was blindsided by that. Just keep yourself around good people, and keep your doctor's number handy.

Finding a good doctor is the most important thing, imo. Bipolar is very misdiagnosed (I'm not sure of the statistics, however). There's the 'bipolar!? No, you're just depressed and wrong!' crowd, and the 'You sometimes feel happy, and other times you feel sad? You must be bipolar. There is absolutely nothing else that could be going on!' people. And there's a lot of stereotyping and misinformation. My recommendation, if you can do it, go to your GP for a referral to an actual psychatrist/therapist/etc. If you have insurance, see if they have anyone listed with a specialty in mood disorders. Gps in general don't have a lot of prowess with mental or emotional disorders. Again, not to scare you off, but to make you better at helping yourself.

I'm just going to chime in on point 5 and say that OP sounds kind of similar to me, and I'm not bipolar. (I mean, I don't have any reason to think so, at least. I take Wellbutrin and it makes me a little chatty, but I didn't go through the roof or anything.) Just kind of intense and prone to getting super interested in stuff, which would come out when the depression had a little remission. I think there also can be kind of an imperative to GET REALLY REALLY INVOLVED WITH SOMETHING WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE BECAUSE YOU MIGHT NEVER GET PLEASURE OUT OF ANYTHING AGAIN, so you throw yourself head-first in to things more than you normally would.

Now that I'm on medication, I still get really intense spikes of interest in stuff, but I feel like it waxes and wanes more naturally.

[ SECRET POST #2465 ]

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