Yeah so this is an uncomfortable question, but one that I really feel I need help on.

I've been reading a fic where a character is experiencing a serious physical problem that I also have. We both had seizures, and reading about him behaving in the compromised, post ictal state to a seizure give me a really visceral sense of understanding and satisfaction.

I don't feel like it's hot or sexy, but it's provoking a truly physical reaction of maybe sympathy or pleasure. Sympathetic pleasure? I mean, the post ictal state is not a pleasant experience, but seeing how it must have looked to see me in that state is kind of... weird/interesting/satisfying?

I don't feel like I wanna bang his brains out, just I feel very very connected to him through that experience, more than identifying with him on an intellectual level.

I really have no fucking clue why I'm having this reaction. Can anyone give me some insight?