[ SECRET POST #2467 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2467 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Attack on Titan]


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04.


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05.
[Harry Potter]


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07.
[Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D./Phil Coulson]


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08.
[Breaking Bad / Back to the Future]
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #352.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. http://i43.tinypic.com/13ydnb.png

[misty_anon]

I don't think it's stupid. I hope you're able to move on and enjoy fandom again soon. *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Thank you. *hugs back*

[(Anonymous)]

You know, I get feeling like your emotions are stupid and over-the-top when you're situationally depressed. But I promise you that nobody who's not a complete idiot is going to think it's stupid to be devastated over a broken engagement.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Thank you. It's hard because my mom is one of those people :P "I told you so! Everyone sucks, don't trust anyone!" Sigh.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it's stupid. My girlfriend and I broke up in February because she was cheating on me, and I've had a hard time in fandom spaces since. I think it's a natural reaction when you've spent so much time with someone in that context.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I'm sorry about your breakup. I hope you feel better soon too. Thank you.

[(Anonymous)]

Oof, that's rough. I totally get it, I was in the same boat a few years back. And it's true that the whole fandom experience, regardless of whether that particular fandom was a shared one between us, felt tainted by all the pain.

I'm not sure if you're looking for advice, but what helped me was just...taking time off, basically. I didn't involve myself in anything fandom-based for a while, played a lot of games that weren't heavy on story or characterization, did a lot of puzzles and sudoku and other brain-challenging sort of things, practiced my baking and cooking--stuff that kept me busy but didn't let me think a whole lot. I treated it a lot like a sprained ankle, really; I just kept all my weight off it until I could start coming back to it bit by bit. It took some time, but now I'm happily re-involved in new fandoms.

If you're not looking for advice, then you have my sympathy and well-wishes. I hope it gets better for you soon. ♥

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Thank you for sharing what helped you. I may try that. I had originally wanted to do Yuletide this year, but I may just have to take the next few months off.

[(Anonymous)]

any decent person would be understanding

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Thank you, nonny.

[harp]

I don't think it sounds stupid either. Just like people who break up and get rid of all of their ex's stuff because it hurts to look at.

I understand that feeling of not being able to be around fandom things because of the shared memory.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I hadn't thought of it that way, thank you.

[(Anonymous)]

I get your pain. Going through a divorce right now. Not sure I'll be able to watch some of our old favorites again without feeling something of the loss.

Hang in there. It'll get better.

At least, that what I keep telling myself.

[logicbutton]

Ooh. Hugs to you.

[(Anonymous)]

There with you, nonie.

Two months ago, my fiance left me out of the blue to go "find himself". At this point, I'm trying to figure out who the fuck I am as a person - we were together 12 years, the entirety of my adult life. Pretty much nothing feels right anymore - I'm in the middle of several WIPs that I can't muster the courage to finish, I'm afraid to go on tumblr because of the judgment from my readership (which largely doesn't exist), and I can't figure out how to enjoy anything fannish anymore. Even my OTP hurts to think about.

That was less helpful than I was aiming for. Sorry, nonie. :-(

[(Anonymous)]

I did the same thing when I was dumped by my bf/fiance of nearly 10 years. Don't feel bad, it's really hard to get back into that kind of stuff after something like that happens. Even now, 5 years later, there are still some tv shows/movies/anime I can't watch because I associate it with memories of him, too...so it takes time, and even then, it's still hard. *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

That's not stupid, that's pretty normal. When something causes you bad memories, it can cause aversion. A common example of this is getting really sick to your stomach shortly after eating a certain food. Vomiting up the food is wildly unpleasant, even if it was your favorite food, so the idea of eating that food is repulsive to you. Sometimes it's repulsive forever, sometimes it's just repulsive for awhile.

[(Anonymous)]

This is why I hate those people who perpetuate this idea that being torn up over a partner makes you weak. It doesn't. Most people who have experienced this kind of heartbreak find it devastating. Be we've been told recently that to feel horrible over losing a romantic love is pathetic. It's not.

OP, I wish the best for you.

[(Anonymous)]

Totally normal feelings, but I'm just here to offer a few things you could kill time with other than media:
- Take up knitting or crochet. Takes some effort to master, but once you've got it it's super easy to make basically everything you want, and there's free patterns everywhere
- Volunteer at a nursing home. You can do this in a structured way or you can just show up with biscuits and chat to people who don't get a lot of visitors
- Any DIY that needs doing around the house? Now's the time to do it. No DIY to do? There's always a small not-actually-necessary home improvement project, a wall to paint, tablecloth to embroider... whatever
- Clean up your computer. Yes, you may run into all sorts of fannish things if that's your style and no, it doesn't actually matter how much stuff you have on your computer, but I find it very relaxing to go through all the pictures and files once in a while and sort & discard
- Make a photo album, either IRL or on your computer and have it printed. Family albums make good gifts for the holidays, and vacation albums are good coffee table books
- Try on every single item of clothing in your wardrobe, and do the 'do I like this/need this/can I afford to buy a new one of this?' thing. Then, discard what doesn't fit, you don't like, or is ruined, make a list of the things you want to buy new (and can afford), and go shopping for it

Just some things that helped me, hope you find them useful. Good luck!

[(Anonymous)]

I`ve been there for a few years now; yeah it sucks.

[(Anonymous)]

This is not stupid at all, OP. As a matter of fact, I'm going through a similar sort of thing, except it's because I've cut off ties with someone who was a good friend. They hurt me quite badly, and now I get no enjoyment from fandom, Tumblr, and the Internet in general. I'm trying to focus more on real life things and obligations, as well as play more video games and things like that. So I can see where you're coming from, and it's definitely not a silly thing. You do what you need to do, OP.

[clodia_risa]

This isn't stupid at all. Not only does depression make you lose interest in things that you used to find fun, but losing someone close to you makes doing anything that reminds you of that person extremely painful. And there's certainly a period of time where everything will remind you of that person. Do what you have to do keep yourself sane, happy, and healthy, or as much as possible. You shouldn't feel stupid for not being able to think of ways to timekill either, you've lost your favorites for now, and I bet nothing sounds fun at all. You're in a bad way now, but it'll pass eventually. Until then, [hugs]. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you find something(s) or someone(s) that brightens your day soon.

[(Anonymous)]

I guarantee no one has ever said that it's stupid to feel bad after a break up.

You're not stupid, just depressed. I hope you feel better soon and things look up for you.

[melissatreglia]

You're not stupid. Breakups can knock anybody for a loop. I was in a similar situation some years back (we didn't actually get engaged, but we had definitely made plans).

I went a little crazy when we split. I cried a lot, and spent a lot of time going out for long walks to try to clear my head. I then threw myself into computer school to give myself a distraction while I was emotionally on the mend. I got into it to prove to myself I wasn't stupid and I could have a life without him.

Long story short: I made some friends at school and graduated with a 3.6 GPA. And now, I still remember my ex, but my thoughts lack any of the bitterness and pain I had then.

You'll move on eventually. Just give it time and be kind to yourself. Also? Find something to distract you from the hurt, like I did. It might turn out that'll be your thing, either as a fun hobby... or it could become your life's work.

You never know what's around the corner.