[ SECRET POST #2469 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2469 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 055 secrets from Secret Submission Post #353.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm having a fall-out with a friend. I told her recently that I have Asperger's Syndrome, and not long after that she made a joke about one of our mutual friends having died. I fucking believed her, was devastated, and she berated me for not seeing it was a joke, falling for it when I should have known no-one would tell such a thing in such a way. And I stormed out.
I haven't musterd the courage to talk to her again and I feel awful.
(Also, I'm still worried over the other friend.)

[dancing_clown]

Your other friend is fine, and it's not your responsibility to muster anything up for Miss Jokes A Lot. It's up to her to apologize for being a dumbfuck. And if she doesn't, or refuses to even acknowledge that she did a shitty thing, she's a shitty not-friend, and you should move on.

[(Anonymous)]

She got mad at you for being upset that she made up your friend's death?

Mind, I don't know how the joke or your subsequent argument went down, maybe you could've handled it differently, maybe not - but either way, she should feel awful, not you. Who jokes about something like that?

[elaminator]

Some people joke about death rather flippantly because that's just their sense of humor, or their way of coping, etc etc. I get that (though I don't always share in it) but being upset at someone for not understanding the joke or being concerned about their friend is a massive dick move.

[forgottenjester]

Who jokes about something like that?

I have. It's something you need to be careful about to make sure everyone hearing the joke won't react badly. Know your audience, essentially. I don't do it about actual dead people. Though I could see myself doing it as a stress relief at a funeral maybe.

And if you upset someone you apologize immediately.

*shrug* We all have different kinds of humors and different ways of combating the scary things in our lives.

[(Anonymous)]

This. My mother does it at funerals...though she doesn't ever apologize. :/

[forgottenjester]

Eek, that's unfortunate. I'm sorry.

[(Anonymous)]

Huh. Your friend sounds like an asshole, but it's also possible you just didn't get the joke. Jokes about "oh, A totally died from XYZ" are pretty commonplace when used as hyperbole.

[forgottenjester]

Man, as someone who made a joke about their friend getting hit by a car on multiple occasions let me tell you, your friend is an asshole. She should apologize to you.

[(Anonymous)]

Just remember, some people make really dark jokes very casually. It doesn't mean she was being malicious, it just means that's her sense of humour. It's shit of her to berate you for not getting the joke, though.

[(Anonymous)]

does she not know what Asperger's is?

I mean, after you told her, she could have looked that up, read about it, and then thought to herself, "oh, I see, I should be careful about being taken literally by my good friend Anon. Gotcha", instead of jumping straight into dead jokes about your friend

[(Anonymous)]

The joke was in poor taste, but even knowing you have Asperger's doesn't mean your friend is going to be able to anticipate you getting a joke or not getting it. She should've apologized once she saw how upset you were, though.

As for the other friend... could you not check to see if they're okay? They probably are, but I see no reason to keep yourself in suspense.

[mudousetsuna]

Wow, your friend is a complete shithead. I could be misinterpreting it myself, because I have it too, but damn... I mean, the timing of just saying that after finding out that you had Aspergers? Not cool. Wait for her to apologize, if she doesn't, move on. Don't aggravate it by trying to nag her about it. Just decide if that's the kind of person you want to hang around if she keeps making it out to be your fault.