[ SECRET POST #2473 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2473 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 012 secrets from Secret Submission Post #353.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Dating Insecurities

[(Anonymous)]

So, F!S, I have a problem that I'd like to get off my chest. I've never been in a relationship before, and I generally have a lot of insecurities about myself which haven't been the entire reason for this but have definitely contributed. There's this guy who's a friend of a friend who I've known through parties for years who I've noticed in the past few months might have a thing for me. And I think I might like him too.

The problem? The moment I worked out I might reciprocate his feelings, my brain went into overdrive and within a week it had worked out this complicated theory that this guy only likes me because he's at a low point in his life at the moment and that's the only reason he is now seeing me as a viable option. Which is kind of crazy, but I can't get the idea out of my head now and it's affecting how I feel about him. The actual potential of us two getting together is a moot point because we live in different cities, but I'm just pissed at how my anxieties have turned against me in this way. Any advice/constructive butt kicking to give on this matter?

Re: Dating Insecurities

[(Anonymous)]

You're a good person, you have good qualities, and this person is clearly appreciating what's clear to everyone else. You just can't see your good qualities because you're too close. Hope that makes sense.

Talk to him about it.

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry. It's really the only way.

Re: Dating Insecurities

[(Anonymous)]

Well, really the most applicable advice here is not to be your own worst enemy, or not to go looking for trouble. It'd be a shame to let your own insecurities sabotage this relationship before you've even given it a chance, right?

Look at it this way. Even if all your fears are true and he's only interested because he's at a vulnerable point in his life, why should that be bad for either of you? A good relationship doesn't necessarily have to be a forever-relationship. Maybe you could resolve to try and be good for him, and as long as he's good for you, then take it day by day and don't overthink it.

Re: Dating Insecurities

[(Anonymous)]

Let him decide whether or not he wants to date you. It's not your job to decide whether he should want to date you, it's his job. You can go into literally infinite speculations about what's going on in someone's mind and whether they really think what they think. But at the end of the day, you kind of just have to accept that he's an adult person who knows his own mind, and if he likes you, it's because he likes you, because you're a person that he likes, because of all the things about you, that he likes.

As a friend of mine would say, you're Harry Pottering this thing.